A Deal with the Devil

my girl has left me. only one way to get her back.

When my girl left me all alone

And refused to return my calls

Sobbing, with my hand on the phone,

Distraught and fit to climb walls

 

When I woke up in the morning

Finding the bed empty and mute

Abandoned without a warning

And no coffee maker to boot

 

 

I locked myself inside the room

Summoned the Master posthaste

Talked about my impending doom

And how there’s no time to waste

 

“If you don’t bring back my lover”

I said to Satan point-blank

“No more drinks, no drugs, ever”

No women, I must be frank

 

I’ll go to church, forsake my sins

Confess, repent and pray, too

I’ll stay in with the penguins

And do their hullabaloo

 

In a blink, Jean was at the door

Sorry, contrite, eyes downcast,

Coffee maker on the floor,

Her clothes, she shed real fast

Reviews

[barleygirl]

As always, you've twisted all the tired trite statements of love, faith, & life. Of course, why didn't I think about pleading with the devil, that I would give up all my bad habits? You are brilliant in your silliness. And the coffeemaker . . . that was the clencher. Oh how my life would be ruined if someone ran off with my coffeemaker!!!!! I just love these true-to-life touches popping out all over your writing.

(Did you steal "hullabaloo" from my frog poem? I'm going to have you arrested . . . your writing so arrests me!)

[Woody]

I'm having a field day :) thanks a ton, B. glad you liked it. incidentally, I don't even know if I've read "frog". I'm going to check it out. I wouldn't dreeeeam of stealing from you :)

[ROXANE DORSEY]

thanks for sharing this wonderful piece.

[Ted Kniffen]

A cute poem of love lost, love found and coffeemaker reunited with its rightful owner. Fun write, Woody. One thing, the last line, perhaps just 'shed' instead of 'shed off'.

[Woody]

hi Ted. thanks a lot for stopping in. glad you enjoyed this one. yes you're probably right. don't know why I put "off". perhaps I felt the need for an extra syllable but I'll remove it.

[Norman 223]

Hee, hee.! Old Satan knew when he was beaten. You don't tangle with Woody . He's the Devil incarnate when he gets his pen out.
Thanks for a good chuckle.

Norman

[Woody]

thanks heap for your continued encouragement, Norm. I'll let you in on a little secret. this is what I think: if you're as bad at poetry as I am, make them laugh and they'll never notice your shortcomings.

[James]

It's been nearly a year since I've read this and I'm glad I saw it again. I do miss your humor, my friend.

[Woody]

hey James. thanks a ton my friend. I missed you all, too. I'm hoping to come back soon.

[James]

I hope so, too. Honestly, I'm not here very much either. Good to see you and to read you.

[Lost, n'MT]

Wow, I did not expect the ending given all that preceded, but I enjoyed the unexpected twist. A powerful piece turned into a very unexpected happy ending. Extremely well written and cleverly written piece. I greatly enjoyed this.

[Woody]

thanks again, Lost Soul. this is more like it. this is what I like doing and I'm mighty glad you liked it :)
I have to point out that I'm not that good a poet. that's why most of my writes are short stories.
cheers.

[Lost, n'MT]

You're welcome, Woody.

I am very glad to hear you say that as I would definitely love to see you pursue more poetry and serious tones as I do feel you ARE and have the potential to be THAT good, with all due respect.

While I prefer more poetry than short stories, I have enjoyed a couple of your short stories that I had read, and I look forward to reading more. It's been my pleasure. :)

[Jacob Clifford]

I love this. This is such an atypical tale told in a humorous way. You twisted this cliche on its head in such a natural way, it's great. I was chuckling throughout the whole thing..

[Woody]

Clifford, you made my day. thank you very much. I'm elated this made you laugh

[Shannon]

Woody, you turn things on there heads so often, this shouldn't be a surprise. But it was such an amusing idea. Really enjoyable.

[Woody]

hahhaha thank you so much, S. I confess I was giggling when I was writing this one. was fun.
glad you enjoyed it.
I better get going and take a look at your page. been away too long :(

[Shannon]

We missed you, but at least you have left us with lists of giggles and chuckles to explore 😂

[Woody]

that's so cute of you to say, S. I missed you, too and a few others here on the Cafe. ta very much.

[forgotten_ghosts]

A great and funny poem! I'm glad you got your coffee maker back! A world without coffee would be horrible..
Thank's for sharing!

[Woody]

so glad you enjoyed this one, forgotten ghosts. thanks a lot my friend. yes it would be a disaster to lose my coffee machine :)

[James]

This is awesome. I've read a lot of good poems today Woody, but this is great. Can't believe I haven't read it before, and almost perfect rhyme. Which was better the cloths she shed or getting the coffee maker back?

[Woody]

haha you got it my friend! I'd kill for my morning coffee. thank you James. I'm elated you think it's good. quite a rare occurrence, believe me. limerics constitute the extent of my poetic prowess.

[James]

Whatever. I haven't read a bad piece on your page yet. But really, your funny, conversationalist style makes for a great read and always with a twist.

[Woody]

thanks heaps, James. you're too kind.