The Jungle Book

collection

King of the Jungle

Zan lives in the jungle with the apes

He’s feared by lions and gators

He fell in a barrel of tar by the lake

While picking up wild potaters

Now the hyenas are mocking the man

They laugh n’ jeer n’ call him Tar Zan 

 

Smoking Jane

When Jane threw her cigarette on the forest floor

Unwittingly ignoring the ashtray by the door

 

She started a fire that spread like… wild fire

Making the elephant climb a tree, to escape the pyre

 

But for his defense, he made a trunk call, posthaste

Before the whole freaking place went to waste

 

The firefighters started running hither and thither

Hurriedly drawing water from the nearby river

 

Now Tarzan despondently stood and watched his domain

As crying Jane promised not to ever smoke again

 

 

Hide and Seek

The felines met to play a game

Tigers, lions, they all came

“Come let’s all play hide and seek

And I promise I’ll not peek,”

Said the leopard they call Rita

But they knew she was a cheetah

 

 

Huma

 

There was a young man from Yuma

Who once told a joke to a puma

Now the puma didn’t laugh

But, instead, bit his calf

That puma had no sense of huma

Reviews

[Gee]

And the monkeys came, all lesbians,
led by the crop haired Lana,
who got her kicks, with primate chicks,
and her Ann Summers banana.
Whilst the monkey males,told sad tales,
of life without vagina,
their bleeding hearts responsible for,
the sharp rise in acute angina.

Morning Woody !!!

[Woody]

you're one of a kind, Gee :)) very funny. is it yours. I wonder? if so, why don't you post it?
I post poems to elicit a smile and get one back. thank you my friend.

[Gee]

I tend to leave the funny stuff to those of you that do it best Woody, and there are vey few of you who pull it off. Oh, and yes my friend it is a Gee original...

[Woody]

flattery will get you anywhere :)
and you're also modest. you're a good man, Gee.

[Gee]

Thank you..

[Gee]

Hi Woody, have posted as a poem with an extra 8 lines.....hope you are well

[Woody]

I'm on it Gee :)

[Gray]

lol These gave me a good chuckle. Thanks for that.

[Woody]

the pleasure is entirely mine, Chris :) thank you very much for stopping to read.

[Jamestown]

Very humorous:)
Enjoyed this piece very much, great format and delivery.
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[Woody]

thanks a lot for your kind words, Jamestown. so glad you enjoyed reading about my zany jungle.
bless you.

[Terry O'Leary]

An amusing set!
Sorta surreal!
Terry

[Woody]

haha that's the extent of my poetry prowess, I'm afraid. thank you very much for dropping in, Terry.

[James]

Hilarious. And it all makes perfect sense. I really love how the end is totally unrelated.

[Woody]

so glad you liked them James. thank you. ramblings of an old man :)

[LastMonth]

Bam bam bam.
Flawless.

Honestly my favorite is the first.

Tar-zan.
How the hell did I -not- see that one coming?

[Woody]

hey Matan. I like Bam bam bam :)
that's how the man acquired his name. I heard it straight from the gator's mouth.
your visits are breath of fresh air. thank you my friend.

[barleygirl]

This is an onslaught of humor, my friend! Altho you've taken me to the African jungle, I ended up in a Midwest cornfield! The first & last stanzas were definitely standing out for me -- hilarious. I love the limerick . . . nobody does 'em anymore! Great share!

[Woody]

so sweet of you m'lady :) as I always tell reviewers, what I lack in poetic prowess, I try to make up for with humour. seems to be working haha

[alifeacoustic]

Superb Woody. So fun, so humorous, so you :)

[Woody]

thanks a lot my friend. true to my silly self :)

[Emily B]

enjoyed very much, sometimes poetry can get too serious

[Woody]

exactly my feeling, Emily. too many serious poets, here. damn good ones, granted so I took it upon myself to try the lighter side. thanks a lot for stopping to read. as always, I'm glad to see you enjoy my writes.

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

And Arnold said, "It's not a tuma!" LOLOLOL (https://youtu.be/OaTO8_KNcuo)

I enjoyed these heartily. They made my tummy giggle. Especially Hide and Seek and Huma. I thought they all had very nice flow and rhyme too. Perfect for children's books.

[Woody]

haha tuma. that's funny. didn't know that.
thanks loads Nadia. I'm elated you liked these silly ones. incidentally, I am a child myself. that pic is my granddad's.

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

haha, that's a good one too!