Think-tank

very short and extremely silly rambling.

Her name is Giulia Spott, but known to everybody as simply G. Spott. I’ll only say this: Giulia is hot. Very hot, but I’ll say no more. So please stop grinning, this is no erotic account. Don’t expect me to describe her voluptuous body, nor her ample bosom or shapely legs. I’d hate to think of you drooling on your keyboard. Imagine the mess!

I’ve been sitting here for the best part of an hour. I shift in my seat. I need to get going. I start work at the “Skull ‘n Bones” in half an hour. Besides, my right leg is getting numb but my mind is being bombarded by dark thoughts and I just can’t let bygones be bygones.

Thing is, G. Spott ditched me for Fartin’ Martin (my nickname for him). And that is something hard to swallow.

What on earth does Martin have on me? Granted he is good looking and has a finely shaped V-body with an impressive six-pack. But apart from that, what makes him a better catch than me? It’s a bloody mystery! Ok, he’s got a Jag and plenty of money, but he’s a complete moron.

I light another cigarette.

I know Martin has a degree in chemistry and is now running a successful business. Does that make him better than me, I ask you?

I stretch my leg, coaxing a better blood circulation in it. I take a deep drag and think back to the steamy nights with G. Spott. When we were in bed.. but, no, I said I was not going to tell you about my sexual prowess. I only wonder if Fartin’ Martin is a better performer.

That’s it. I need to get going. I stub my butt (cigarette butt, silly!), wipe off, stand up and flush the toilet. I head for the wash basin and fall flat on my face. S**t! I always forget to pull my pants up before moving to wash my hands.

I leave my think-tank and go to work. A man’s gotta earn his keep, right?

As I push the door, I see Eleonor and Marie Lou swinging on the floor, going “Neh Nah Nah Nah!” but that’s another story. So

Vaya con Dios.  

Author's Note

I don't know where this came from. I don't know what the hell it means, so don't ask me.
if I get more than 10 negative reviews, I'll delete it. I've got a reputation to safeguard.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is hilarious! I love the way it's more gut-level expression than some of your more finely-crafted stories. The crassness serves you well here . . . just enuf, but not too much . . . and I have to confess, I didn't get "think tank" until the guy wiped his butt, which is a very imaginative & funny scene, the way you describe it. Many nice subtleties like "G Spot" and "stub my butt", etc. I'm a sucker for toilet humor. It makes me want to tell the story about how I always ended up sitting in a cubicle next to some frequently-farting fool, in a number of my jobs, over the years *smile*

[Woody]

hahaha please, do tell! indeed bathroom humour can be very funny. thank you Dear as always.
you're a gem.
I think I'm ready now. going to read a couple of your stories which I espied in passing. talk later :)

[Marie]

If the guy would quite smoking, start working out, take some college courses...

But no he won't...anyone who foregts to pull up his pants...

[Woody]

hahaha exactly my point.
thank you, Marie.

[MomzillaNC]

Ha! It's the human condition, isn't it? When someone is spurned, no replacement could possibly be as good as they believe themselves to be. The grungy, smelly MO (read my essay on Mo and Ron) cannot understand why Adrian Paul is a preferable partner! :D

[Woody]

thanks a lot Momzilla. you're right. still, it's a bloody mystery.
on my way to read Mo and Ron.

[MomzillaNC]

yw :)

[MomzillaNC]

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/MomzillaNC/1402164/