night

a rhymed version of Marie's free verse of the same title

The balmy night has tiptoed in

Gently nudging off the day

Its quarter of lime in sequins

Reigning on indigo bay

Studded with diamond seeds

On a black flowering spray 

Author's Note

Marie wanted me to post this but I'm not sure about the rhythm and the scan and all that jazz.

Reviews

[Amy Rose]

Very beautiful, also nicely put together. Magnificent poem, you're a great poet. Keep it up Woody, I can't stop reading your poems. My favorite line was "Its quarter of lime in sequins" It has a great flow, you should definitely write more poems, congrats :)

[Woody]

thank you so much Dear. I'm super glad you liked it :)

[Briana O'Connor]

Very beautifully woven together. Nice flow and imagery.

[Woody]

thanks a lot Brianna :)

[Troy Henson]

This was well crafted. Loved the shortness and the impact this piece had. Great imagery an flow.

Troy

[Woody]

you're too kind Troy. now and then, I would force myself to write something serious for a change.

[B.J]

Such great work. The work is all there

[Woody]

thank you so much B.J glad you think it's good.

[B.J]

you're welcome

[Pryde Foltz]

Its quarter of lime in sequins
Reigning on indigo bay

Sublime … woody.

[Woody]

you're too kind Pryde. praise coming from a giant poet of this site means an awful lot.
thank you Dear.

[Pryde Foltz]

LOL … review of the 50-foot-tall poetess.:)

[Woody]

lol. that tall?

[Pryde Foltz]

In heels…..

[Woody]

did you know that high heels were invented by a girl who'd just been kissed on the forehead?

[Pryde Foltz]

I can see that:)

[Tate Morgan]

I think this is great work. i am all about rhyme and meter it seems to me the natural way of poetry I know most are not anymore But refreshing when I do see it.this one has a 8.7.8.7 beat the first two lines then 6.7 the last two very nice

[Woody]

thank you very much Tate. yes I agree, poetry is rhyme and meter for me too. as you say, not many adhere, these days.
I'm glad you thought this was ok.

[Tate Morgan]

you are so welcome It is an honor to meet you

[closed]

Nice write. I take it you are somewhat of a naturalist

[Woody]

thanks a lot LAD. glad you liked. I'm not sure you can call me naturalist, though I like Nature, flowers, sunsets... no, I guess I'm just an admirer.
I apologize for the late reply.

[closed]

Np. I'm often inspired by nature myself btw. Looks like we share a commonality

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Love the flow and visual of this poetic poem! Beautiful imagery popping before my eyes!

[Woody]

thanks heaps imagination. so glad you like it :)

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

You are welcome!

[KAREN]

Beautifully done, so poetic! The imagery painted a picture of pure awe!

[Woody]

aww I'm humbled, stt. thank you very much.

[KAREN]

Really enjoyed it!

[AprilRN1210]

This teases the senses with such rich, vivid imagery told in a beautifully playful way... I like the rhythm and rhyme.. very pleasant and added a "punch" to your imagery.. well done Woody!!

[Woody]

wow! I'm not just a pretty face, then, huh?
my poetry (laughing here) is liliputian compared to yours. but thanks anyway. you're too sweet.

[AprilRN1210]

make me break out the dictionary this early in the morning Woody?.. wheeew... and I would humbly disagree, of course.. but thank you, very "sweet" of you!

[Woody]

pfff! dictionary? look at the vocabulary used by Frieda. every time I read one of her poems I have to take a paracetamol.

[AprilRN1210]

I keep it handy for a few of ya'll.. but hey, it is a good way to learn.. can say I learned a new word today, so thank you for that:)

[realmwriter]

I learned two new words nit sure what that pill is.

[Woody]

paracetamol? I believe it's something like an aspirin

[AprilRN1210]

think it is like a tylenol..

[Woody]

hahaha forgot you were there eavesdropping :) I know next to nothing about medicine. I should've let you answer the question.

[realmwriter]

Either way, the poem is awesome

[Woody]

thank you very much realwriter. glad you thought it was worth your time.

[AprilRN1210]

haha, eavesdropping?.. I WAS my review ya know :P

[AprilRN1210]

*it*.....grrr need coffee!

[Woody]

lol I know. realwriter commented on your review so the 3 of us got stuck together.
you got your fix yet?

[realmwriter]

Yeah that was my bad sorta. I meant to comment on your poem not walk allover this review. Oops

[Woody]

hey, no harm done. it's fun, really :)

[realmwriter]

Indeed it is fun.

[AprilRN1210]

you know I don't mind either, so shush!!!

[realmwriter]

Oh pish

[realmwriter]

Oh pish

[PloughBoy]

Rhythm, meter, flow, tempo...none of the technical poetic jargon much matters as they pertain to this lovely, wonderfully crafted poem, Woody. Your descriptive adjectives here are astounding, and quite vividly paint the picture using only the palette of the English language that you wished to portray.

Fantastic work here, in my humble opinion.

[Woody]

thank you so much PloughBoy. I'm most appreciative. I definitely need reviewers like you to gain confidence in myself in the world of poetry.
thanks again.

[PloughBoy]

As do I, Woody, my friend. Without anyone to care enough to review what we've written, then it is nothing more than our thoughts on a page. Yet, when someone else reads it, that's when it truly takes on a life of its own.

You are very welcome, and keep writing! :)

[realmwriter]

Gotta say, as for your concerns of this piece, I believe they are unwarranted sure. The rhyme, meter, rhythm and blues flow us spot on. It's a rollercoaster breaking to a gentle nudging stop. It's perfectly penned poignanc in one pleasing poetic piece. Very well done.

[Woody]

thanks a lot. I'm flattered. I'd better start taking the matter seriously. I have written very few "serious" pieces here. most of my posts are on the lighter side.