at the vet's

Some people can be a little too sentimental with pets

 Jonathan was sitting on a bench in the neon-lit corridor of the veterinarian’s office. His elbows were resting on his knees, his head in his hands, eyes fixed on the ground, following the progress of an ant dragging a crumb and doing the moon walk. That morning, Jonathan had found his beloved cat lying by the entrance door, barely breathing. Heart pounding, he’d rushed her to the vet’s.

The swinging doors at the end of the corridor opened and a young doctor came striding out in his unbuttoned white uniform, a stethoscope draped over his shoulders. Jonathan looked at him expectantly. The doctor smiled thinly and stretched his hand.

“Dr. Mortis. Rhyger Mortis”

“Hello, Doctor. What’s the news?” asked Jonathan in a tremulous voice. Dr. Mortis shook his head and tried to look sympathetic.

“I’m afraid there was nothing I could do for your cat. I’m sorry for your loss”.

Jonathan swiftly put his head in his hands and started to sob uncontrollably. Dr. Mortis patted him on the back like a mother trying to burp her baby. He took him gently by the arm and ushered him into his office. Overwhelming grief in public always embarrassed him. 

Jonathan raised his head. His face was streaked with tears, his eyes red-rimmed and snot was streaming from his nostrils. Gross, if you ask me.

“What.. what.. k.. ki.. killed her, D..Doc?” (Oh, God! Pathetic, I know).

Dr. Mortis offered him a tissue and said “Curiosity”.

Author's Note

just a tiny little thing for fun. been quite lethargic of late, so I hope this'll help me get back on track.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is hilarious! Everything clicks for me this time (despite being one of those "too sentimental" ones!) I love the doctor's name, perfectly spelled to both hide & reveal. I loved the ant doing the moon walk. I love the pat on the back like mother burping baby. I love the realistic depiction of snotty cry, along with snide observation. Last & certainly not least, your twist was perfectly executed & funny as hell.

[Woody]

awww B! I'm chuffed as nuts. thanks a bunch. you're a doll :) I know how much you love animals so I made this one die peacefully in its sleep.

[barleygirl]

Didn't mean to chuff yer nuts, but I hope it was pleasurable! *tee! hee!*

[Woody]

my wife's just walked in and wanted to know why I had a stupid grin fixed on my face. does that mean pleasurable?

[fergul]

Leave serious to the weebes. Just read a couple more of yours, gave me the chuckles.

fergul

[Woody]

thanks heaps, fergul. I'm really glad you like the way I write.

[fergul]

You're bit of a card aren't you. First glint of humour I seen on this site.

Oh yeah, and you actually write pretty good.

fergul

[Woody]

thank you very much for stopping to read and review, Fergul. and the compliment.
I mostly write in the humour genre. very difficult for me to be serious :)

[Taylor]

Don't know how I missed this one, Woody. Nice chuckle on a beautiful, sunny morning here, though still a bit nippy. After all, it's Spring in Boston.

As soon as I read the last line, I just thought, "Woody, you're the most delightful cornball writer I know!" I hope you don't see that as an insult. It's a tribute to the silly, innocent, wonderful humor that you often project. "Dr. Mortis!" and "What killed her." Such fun.

You know I always find some little word or two to cite perhaps an improvement.

When I read these two sentences: "That morning, Jonathan had found his beloved cat lying by the entrance door, barely breathing. Heart pounding, he’d rushed her to the vet’s" -- the beginning of the second sentence initially made me assume it was the cat's heart that was pounding. Not sure that you want the reader to pause at that point. Such a minor thing.

I envy your ability to tell such a fun little tale so concisely -- but of course that's essential to keeping it fun. Congratulations, Woody, on another little gem.

[Woody]

Hi Dearie. thank you for a lovely review :)
the weather here has been quite capricious lately. now it's hot, now it's cold, now it's windy. normal for this time of year, apparently.
I like it when people point out my errors. but I also like to argue the point. Tunisians are known for their stubbornness. (not true haha)
"... lying.. barely breathing." it's clear I'm talking about the cat.
new sentence: Heart pounding, HE... is there ambiguity here? I need some convincing.
another example. she found her cat on the floor. Feeling nauseous, she rushed to the bathroom.
please tell me if I'm doing it wrong.
incidentally, you hadn't missed this one. when I'm feeling unproductive, I keep featuring old writes to give the impression I'm still alive. :)

[Taylor]

Glad you're not being treated by Dr. Mortis. Well, I'm not going to argue with you this morning, Woody. I did note the pronoun, "he" and quickly realized that it was the protagonist's heart. So, it's not an important point, just an observation. But stick to your guns; you're the one in charge. I'm working on a story right now, but keep getting stumped (Muse is on vacation).

[Woody]

please, Taylor, never stop pointing out whatever you think is not correct. I'll keep my eyes peeled for your new story.

[Great Aunt Astri]

Yerrrrs .. sometimes it does not pay to be curious

[Woody]

often true. however, doesn't curiosity lead to discoveries sometimes? curiosity's a funny thing, isn't it? thanks Auntie.

[Solar]

Dr. Rhyger Mortis did set in pronto - giving a Purrrrfect tail ending!

[Woody]

haha love your puns Solar. thanks for stopping by. I love cats almost as much as I love my wife :)

[Solar]

haha now then....that quantifying does takes the Cheshire :D

[Woody]

:)))))))))))) (does that look like the smile of that famous cat?)

[Solar]

sure does, its the ^~^ s whiskers

[Valentine]

Very clever and funny. Valentine

[Woody]

thanks a lot Dear :))

[MsJewel]

You are so very clever. Love the story, love the vets name, love laughing and the smiles your stories always leave me with. This is a gem!

:) Julie

[Woody]

you're too kind Julie. thank you so much. always a pleasure to make you laugh.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha! i fell for this hook line and sinker! :) you really had me going .. i consoled a total stranger while having a beer at my favorite Saturday afternoon watering hole many years ago .. us and the bar keep were the only people present .. he started to talk to me and instantly got around to his pet black lab that had just died unexpectedly .. he broke down and started weeping uncontrollably .. i didn't know what to do ...except to offer condolance and an ear to listen ... any way .. thats where my thoughts were going as i started to read your short .. glad to be snapped from such melancholy by your humor :))
E.
ps. perhaps he would have done better to find another Vet. ...Dr. Saves M. All or something ;)

[Woody]

hey E. I appreciate the visit and the review.
you should know that I don't do melancholy and sad. (ISIS) is doing a pretty good job of it :)
I'm glad this made you laugh, although there's a dead pet in it.

[Einstein Noodle]

:) .........

[Woody]

btw, I like your ps. :))

[Billy Stark]

Loved it, each line as funny as the last.

[Woody]

thanks a lot Billy. glad you found it funny :)