I want to be like Dad

be careful what you do around kids!

The two sisters were seated in the living room, talking about what women usually talk about. Interesting things like the new mall that’s just opened down the street and Bella’s horrid new dress and the colour of Shakira’s hair. Interesting stuff.

Cecilia was having a beer. She’s always been partial to beer.

“What’s that scar over the bridge of your nose?” asked Meredith.

“From glasses”, said Cecilia.

“Oh!” exclaims Meredith, “why don’t you use contact lenses?”

“They don’t hold enough beer”, said Cecilia, taking a hefty gulp of her drink.

Meredith chuckled. “Silly girl”, she said and looked adoringly at her 9-year-old nephew, Mike. He was sprawled on his stomach, on the Persian rug, legs bent upward at the knees seesawing the air. The tip of his tongue was sticking out at the corner of his mouth and his silky blond hair was hanging over his eyes. He was intent on colouring a picture, his crayons scattered on the floor.

“So, tell me, Picasso, what do you want to be when you grow up?” asked Aunt Meredith, after depositing her cup of chamomile tea on the small coaster and daintily dabbing at the corners of her mouth with a laced handkerchief.

“Suicide bomber”, he answered without looking up, “like Dad.”

Meredith looked at her sister with round eyes.

“Have I just heard what I think I heard?” she asked in a hushed voice.

Cecilia sighed and said “He adores his father. He’s his role model”

“Some role model!” exclaimed Meredith, looking back at Little Mike.

“Oh, how I miss the old Stan, EM! Remember what a fun loving guy he used to be? A dashing young man.”

“Yes. Look at him now. Wild eyes and a scraggly beard. What on earth happened, Celia?”

“Well, it’s no mystery really. He mixed with the wrong crowd who convinced him that if he died a martyr, he’d have seventy virgins all to himself in the afterlife.”

Meredith was gaping. “I must be dreaming, Sis. Surely, I’m not hearing this. And where is he now?

“In hospital. He’s recovering in ward 21A.. and 22, 23B and 36. And some of him is still coming in.”

Author's Note

I am just as appalled as any of you. these people are a danger to modern society. I just choose to laugh abou it.
I'm not particularly crazy about this one but after what happened in Brussels, today, I feel it's appropriate to ressucitate it.
Guys, the world's gone mad!

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Even tho your subject matter is deadly serious, of course, I love your flippant treatment here. Nose bridge scar from glasses might be the funniest thing you've penned, that I've read so far! That was a nice serving of corn, thank you very much! *smile* Also, your description of the kid on the floor drawing, so nicely detailed, so realistic, I could just see a kid doing that. I don't know if I can comment on your ending, becuz I just can't get my head around suicide bombers. Thanks for reminding us life goes on.

[Woody]

Thanks a bunch B. you're a peach. yeah dead serious but, you know, the tiger can't change its rays an' all that. or is it leopard?
I don't know if it is typical to Tunisians (probably not) we make a lot of jokes about those dickheads (oops!) and there are funny skits on facebook.
such a pleasure to see you put up with my quirkiness.

[barleygirl]

Now you're going to be self-conscious, every time you refer to the Male Gearshift Lever . . . *heh! heh! heh!*

[Woody]

this is going to affect my writing, big time. I know who to blame if the number of my fans starts to go down. gearshift? I'm going on Google this minute. I need some education. incidentally, gearshift reminded me of when my wife... but no. too personal. and people are reading this.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Wow this made me laugh Woody and I knew it would.You are so funny.Excellent pen my friend :)

[Woody]

thanks a lot Vid. making you laugh is my secret mission on this site shhhh! :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

Hahaha again you made me laugh.I am honored that making me laugh is your secret mission :)Shhh!!!

[Marie]

I did laugh about this. Very dark humour.

I have never understood what a man would want with 70 vergins...

[Woody]

you know Marie, I'm Arab and I don't understand it myself. for you it must be baffling. madness, really. they are obsessed with sex. I'll tell you a true anecdote. no joke, I assure you. on a video clip, a jihadist is agonising and his friend, instead of attempting to give him CPR, is bent over him shouting: CAN YOU SEE THE VIRGINS, CAN YOU SEE THE VIRGINS??? I swear it's true.

[Marie]

This is really funny..especially if it's true...