fancy dress party

an interesting disguise for a fancy dress party

Today, I feel like telling you about something that happened about some thirty odd years ago. The proof is still hanging, to this day, in a frame, over the bed of a friend of mine. You’ll understand if you decide to hear me out. For that, I’ll need to take a walk down memory lane. Care to join me? Come on! It’ll be fun.

In the early 80’s, back when I was still a student (s**t! I’ve just given an indication about my real age), I used to go to plenty of parties with friends. Life, for us, was an unending ball. That probably explains why none of us managed to get a degree. Ah, well, no use crying over spilt milk an’ all that.

In those days, I had a friend of Jewish descent, named Jewel Hungg. Contrary to what his name suggests, Jewel is not a girl. We used to rib him about it but he never resented us. He explained that, when his mum was pregnant, she was certain that the unborn baby was a girl so she decided to call it “Jewel”. Her jewel. When he popped out into the world and she saw what was between his tiny little thighs, she was adamant that he keep the name. too late to change and he was her jewel whether a boy or a girl.

I could write a 500-page book about the good times we had together, the parties, the binges, the laughs. But I chose to recount what happened before we went to a particular fancy dress party that a mutual friend had thrown, one summer evening.

I’m sure you can imagine the fantastic ideas that some of the people came up with. A black guy (can’t remember his name) stripped off, wore black underpants and a white turban on his head and went as a pint of Guinness. There was a pirate with a hook, a wooden leg and an eye patch. Someone went as a baby with diapers. And I went as an Arab sheik. Not much imagination, I know. Now I come to the crux of the story.

My friend Jewel wanted to go to the party disguised as Adam. He went to a nude store to buy a fig leaf but was disappointed to find all the shelves bare. What did he expect? It was a nude store, after all. He then wrote to a costume firm that specialized in disguises, asking them for a “fig leaf, EXTRA large, to hide my dignity”, he wrote. Now, why “extra”, you might ask? Well, Jewel was endowed with a huge.. ehm.. you know.. errr.. big… thingy, you know. Come on, don’t play dumb. You know what I mean.

The telegram that came back is still hanging, as I said earlier, on the wall, over his bed. It said:

“We are sorry but we have no fig leaves in stock. We suggest you just throw your dignity over your shoulder and go as a petrol pump.”  

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is an original & hilarious twist . . . very visual, I might add! The storytelling isn't always as smooth as yours usually is, but the ending twist more than makes up for the few bumpy parts along the way. Mostly, I like that the costume ideas are fun & fresh . . . even the narrator's admittedly unimaginative costume, it all plays out well, painting a fun picture in our minds.

[Woody]

thank you Dear :) this is one of the earliest. I feel my writing has evolved. the old ones aren't so good I think. yes it probably needs a few changes here and there.

[Samuel Dickens]

Haaaaa! This is one of your best punch lines, Woody! Not only that, but I didn't see it coming. Also, it has reminded me of some old jokes I'd forgotten.

[Woody]

thank you so much my friend :) glad you liked this one.
haven't been around much. swamped in some translation work. nearly over. I need to review some of your work.

[Beccy]

Your stories are always so well written Woody, genuinely entertaining. And those little twists and turns are such fun; Jewel hungg indeed!


Beccy.

[Woody]

that's sweet of you to say so Beccy. thank you very much indeed.
I'm extatic you noticed the name. nobody else did apparently :)

[NoelHC]

Ha ha! Good one. A funny twist at the end that I was not expecting.
Maybe he could have put a potato on it, a Mussolini scowl and went as a "Dick-Tater"

[Woody]

thank you Noel. glad you like it. I love the Mussolini scowl haha. I wish 'd thought of it. maybe another character could've turned into that.

[Hawkmoth]

Hilarious! (And a smooth read!) Particularly liked the part about the black guy wearing a DIY Guinness costume :)

[Woody]

thank you very much hawk. glad you like it. yes I had fun drawing the characters.

[LinBin]

never been to a fancy dress party like this one.......lol

[Woody]

would be fun though, wouldn't you say? thank you, Lin.

[Cryingkate]

Great Story, Great Delivery, and Fun Little Journey.
This story seems to be hung right by my view :-)

Actually I believe Adam wore a pelt. The fir skin was to represent the first blood Shed for the coming scene of redemption from sin thru Bloodshed.(sacrifice) personally I think that is a carried over thought from the Demi'gods=Demons that dwelled here then. Or the cultures that practiced sacrifice to gods

Not that I buy that line.... It never really fit the profile of my God's Ideals.

[Woody]

thanks a lot for reading and for the review, Kate. very interesting, I'm sure. however, allow me to point out that my intentions were purely for fun. I wish you wouldn't try to find deep meanings in my ramblings.

[Cryingkate]

I also was just rambling on with a thought from your posting and others reviews. All in Fun.
sorry if it sounded too technically minded.
Even more fun is ramblings can be very thought provoking and often more knowledgeable then intended.

[avant security guard]

funny, funny, funny

[Woody]

why, thank you, Sir. glad you found it funny.

[roarke]

that's good for a pint. hahaahahhaa. Nice bit of story telling E.

[Woody]

hahaha thanks. always good to see you come by, Bill.

[Ranger Kessel]

ha! nice read. made me laugh. Thanks for posting!

[Woody]

much appreciated Ranger. thanks for dropping in.

[Marie]

Well it made me smile too. I believe Adam stitched fig leaves together to make a sort of apron, but even that might not have been enough for your friend.

[Woody]

thanks for reading Marie. haha I guess it might not have been enough. also, Jewel needed one single leaf to look exactly like Adam in the pictures.