Doctor House

an unusual day at the Doctor's office.

Some days are bad and some are good. That’s life, right? Yesterday was a mixture of both, for me. It started off horribly then, within the hour brightened unexpectedly. Allow me to recount the events.

I pulled up in my usual space, in the parking lot, and turned off the engine. I kept my hands on the wheel to stop the tremor and waited for my jangling nerves to settle down. I breathed deeply. The images of my near- death experience still playing in my head, I clearly saw, behind my eyelids, the huge grill of the juggernaut. Much like the gaping mouth of the shark in “Jaws”, it filled my windscreen. My eyes snapped open. The bloody a..hole! (I don’t like to use swear words, even when there’s no one around. Good upbringing, you understand?) He nearly squashed me like a bug.

Goodbye, Doctor! See you in the afterlife! 

I shuddered and closed my eyes again. I breathed in and out, then grabbed my bag, opened the door of the Jag and swang my leg out. I shut the door and pressed the red button on the fob. “Twit-twit”, went the alarm. I noticed I was late so I jogged to the entrance and pushed through the revolving door.

Bethany was at her post, at the reception. Beautiful. Not a hair out of place. Immaculately dressed.

“Good morning, Doctor”, she chimed in.

“Mornin’ ”, I replied and my eyes lingered on her cleavage for a second, wondering, not for the first time, if it was not a b**b job. God, they looked achingly beautiful! It took a huge effort but I tore my eyes off and stuffed them into my pocket. No, wait! That belongs in another horror story I’m writing at the moment. Let me rephrase that. I tore my eyes off her.. well, beautiful rack and, wiping the drool with the back of my hand, strode towards my office. The waiting room was already full of sad faces. As usual, when the patients saw me arrive, their moans rose a notch or two. A baby coughed in its mother’s arms, an old man sniffled, a middle-aged woman rearranged her bosom which looked a little askew. Definitely not a b**b job. A 30-ish man was cradling his bandaged hand. The once-white bandage was almost entirely red. I took all this in, in the very short time it took me to reach my office. I hurried inside, took off my jacket, put on my white coat and draped my stethoscope round my neck. It made me look professional, just like Doctor House. I dropped in my swivel chair. Then, sighing (I was doing a lot of sighing this morning), I turned on the laptop and buzzed Bethany. She was there in a flash. God, was she standing behind the door?

“Yes, Doctor”, she sang.

God, that throaty voice!

“Usher the first one in, please.”

She looked puzzled. “Usher, Doctor?”

I rolled my eyes.

“Bring him in and go and Google “usher”.

“Yes, Doctor”.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. But what a rack! Damn it! Stop it already! Get a hold on yourself, you horny b*****d, I berated myself. I hate me when I berate myself like that. Who do I think I am?

A soft knock on the door and Bethany stepped in with her ra.. I mean with the bandaged guy in tow. I limped from behind my desk, just like Doctor House. Professional, remember? I stretched my hand to shake his then thought better of it when I saw that the injured hand was his right.

“Good morning”, I said, “please, take a seat”.

“Good morning, Doctor. Thank you”.

“So, what seems to be the problem?”

“I cut off my finger”, he told me.

“What?” I exclaimed. “The whole finger?”

“No, the one next to it”, he replies, matter-of-factly.

And that was when my day took a turn for the better. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I know, unprofessional but I just couldn’t help it. Bethany burst in, looking alarmed. Half a dozen patients crowded behind her, trying to look over her shoulder. I had to take the day off.

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

1)The wording here needs improvement. "The images of my near miss or near death experience still playing in my head. I could clearly see...." I suggest something like this: "The images of the near-death experience still playing in my head, I clearly saw, behind my eyelids, the huge grill of the juggernaut. Much like the shark in "Jaws", it filled my windshield."

2) In this sentence, I suggest you put a comma after "arrive" and delete the "and".-- "As usual, when the patients saw me arrive and their moans rose a notch or two."

You might give "Goodbye, Doctor! See you in the afterlife!" its own line and also put in italics.

A misspelled word here--" took off my jacked".

In the interest of limiting that dreaded passive word, "was", you might consider saying "an old man coughed, a baby sniffled", etc. I noticed several instances in which a similar change might be made.

I hope Bethany's b***s are real, and not "Goodyear's". As one who has seen enough doctors for two lifetimes, I hope I never run into that guy.

[Woody]

Thank you so much for your visit and constructive review, Samuel. I clearly should've proofread before clicking the save button. "Goodyear" made me laugh.

[AMMD]

I love that it captured me in the moment, utilizing sound, dialogue and the urgent masculine impatience of the narrator to keep me pulled into the short but interesting plot. Great read! =)

[Woody]

thank you Angeline. just a funny story really. fooling around :)

[AMMD]

LOVE it! I was far more creative than narrative prior to spending six years as an English major. The rules and formality of it all dampened my imagination. I envy yours =)

[Woody]

haha. thanks a lot :) I hope it has brightened your evening (or is it morning in your part of the world?)

[Daffy]

Interesting, how you word your stories, I must read more of them. Interestingly, ;the American English' shows through clearly in this tale.
You are inspiring me to write a story....as yet untried.

[Woody]

thanks a lot. point out any Americanism, please. I was not aware of that.

[Daffy]

Well, in English we use a conjunction between verbs and the Americans seem to miss it out. Viz: 'Please go swim'; or 'let's go dance'. In English it would be: 'Please go and swim' or 'let's go and dance'. Hence Go Google would be Go and Google. In the words...for Windshield read Windscreen. These are small points, but then I am 'old school'.....Lol Daffy

[Woody]

no you're not old school. I'm very fussy about my English. obviously, not enough. windshield was stupid. I know it of course. but it comes from reading many more American books than English. not by choice. and yeah, I tend to drop the "and" in go and google. point taken thank you Daffy.

[Daffy]

Oh, you are trying too hard. You are very very good at the English language and must not be despondent at any deviation from the normal vocabulary in use. In your reply you used 'yeah' instead of yes......but so what? I can understand completely and not many English people can even spell the words let only put them together grammatically. I say, (not to patronise again) well done.

[Woody]

you're too kind, Daffy. thank you.

[Marie]

When I first saw the title of this story, I thought you might be writing about my idol. But you weren't.

THis person could not even shine Gregory House's shoes.

And anyway, he never wears a smock.

[Woody]

hahaha. I was expecting your review. I know he's your idol and I'm sorry to disappoint. I hardly ever saw the guy. That aside, I hope the story was worth your time.

[Marie]

Your stories are always worthwhile. I knew what you were thinking of when you wrote this.