All's well that ends well

All's well that ends well

A Story by Woody
"

A man nearly gets killed while crossing the street. He is saved by a clever surgeon.

"

 The loud screech of tires, followed by a dull thud caused heads to snap around towards the source of the noise. Then all the people in the vicinity moved as one. They converged on the figure sprawled in the middle of the street. Only the head and torso of the man were visible as the lower part of his body was under the truck that hit him. His face was a red mask. A cacophony of voices could be heard: “OH, MY GOD!” and “MINE GOT” and “HARI KRISHNA!” and some other Chinese gibberish. One Japanese had his Nikon glued to his eye and was firing away while an old lady standing by his side was weeping silently. One of the gawkers rushed to the poor devil and expertly put two fingers to the man’s carotid, feeling for a pulse. He raised his head and declared: 


“HE'S ALIVE!” 


The crowd issued a collective sigh of relief and voices were heard saying: “Praised be the Lord” and “Halleluiah” and “Born in the USA”. 


Finally, the wail of an ambulance could be heard from two blocks away.

 

Dagobert is usually more careful when crossing the street but that fateful morning, he had so much on his brain that he never saw the truck hurtling down the street. It hit him smack on the face. Anyway, they rushed him to hospital, the ambulance flew. But when they arrived there was naught they could do. (Hey, that's poetry! God, I surprise even myself sometimes.) The surgery took six hours.


He's now in the recovery room, face all covered in bandages and the surgeon is taking his pulse and looking at his watch. He's going to be late again, I know. "How're you feeling, asks the surgeon?"
Still woozy from the anesthetics, Dago, as his friends call him, says: "I feel like I've been hit by a truck. How did the operation go, Doc?" Doctor Hoo (he's Chinese, by the way) smiles benignly at the bandages and says reassuringly: 


"I'm proud to say that the operation was a success although you lost your right eye, I'm afraid. It was completely useless when they scraped it off the grill of the truck. But we did save your left eye."
"Well I should be grateful, says Dagobert in a trembling voice, thank you so much."

"No need to thank me. Glad to have been of assistance. Now, take a good rest and before leaving, remember to ask the nurse to give you the eye we saved."

© 2014 Woody


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Featured Review

"All's well that ends well?"... I mean does the saying, "look on the bright side" count when he can't see?.. :P

sounds like some of the doctors I work with.. is it in one of those "pickling" jars, sitting on the nurses station?.. what the heck was the doctor operating on then, the "eye" he saved?.. ha!..

cute Woody, as always got a little giggle..

Dr Hoo knew
was nothing he could do
He tried stitches and glue
even some homemade brew
a stew of ghastly green goo
threw in a hammer and screw
at last-the crew
somehow pulled through
fixed it right up, almost like new
what's left, but to enjoy the view?
(couldn't resist)..


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

lol I swear you're a riot April. romantic, naughty and funny (wow what a combination!)
look o.. read more
AprilRN1210

9 Years Ago

You always tickle my funny bone Woody, you know I am a fan!... Glad I could make you giggle.. You ar.. read more
Woody

9 Years Ago

a fun fan :) couldn't've hoped for better.



Reviews

Well at least he pulled through...One for the hammer horror of comedies Woody, loved the gruesome, graphic ending !!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tom

10 Years Ago

A enquiring, curious mind, is a clever mind !
Woody

10 Years Ago

talking about balls, check out my poem "moths"
Tom

10 Years Ago

Gonna do right now ...
Groan..... Woody, I think this qualifies as "black humor", not that there's anything wrong with that. I rather like it, in fact. Reminds me of one of those "good news and bad news" jokes.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

10 Years Ago

hey Sam. yeah I'm well aware it's kinda black. but if it can produce a smile then I'm happy.
m.. read more
I'm glad you find you have to remind us when we get to the 'poetic' part...Born in the USA, really?

Dagobert, that in itself is pretty dang funny...Gah, creepy ending. You're twisted Woody. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

10 Years Ago

what can I say? it's a motley crowd. I was as surprised as you to hear that nutty shout.
think.. read more
Frieda P

10 Years Ago

Who says that when someone's dying? haha I can only imagine..... :)
Haha oh my god Woody I knew the ending would get me and it did.Why are you so mean ??? This made me laugh so hard but then you always make me laugh .You are a brilliant writer comedic or otherwise :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

10 Years Ago

thanks heaps Vid. the ring of your laughter is, as always, music to my ears.
Vidya Bacchus

10 Years Ago

Lol....you sweet talker you.You are welcome Sir Woody :)
Nice one, ha I think your career lies in comedy writing.
Take care
Will

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Will Neill

10 Years Ago

I will need at least 50% of all your earning. Signed in blood- Read my story '' Saving Ryan's Privat.. read more
Woody

10 Years Ago

you've got yourself a deal, Will. And no I haven't. But I'll do it right away.
Woody

10 Years Ago

The title is certainly enticing.
It took me a few seconds to comprehend the end of this grisly tale. Very well told. Your stories are a bright spot in my day.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

10 Years Ago

and I am jubilant when I hear you say that. I'll try not to disappoint you :)

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16 Reviews
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Added on April 2, 2014
Last Updated on July 17, 2014
Tags: just for fun

Author

Woody
Woody

Mateur, Bizerte, Tunisia



About
ok, time for an update I think. my old friends have come to know me pretty well, I trust so this is for the new comers. I'm a Tunisian 60-year-old teacher-cum-translator, book worm who enjoys writing.. more..

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