A man nearly gets killed while crossing the street. He is saved by a clever surgeon.
The loud screech of tires,
followed by a dull thud caused heads to snap around towards the source of the
noise. Then all the people in the vicinity moved as one. They converged on the
figure sprawled in the middle of the street. Only the head and torso of the man
were visible as the lower part of his body was under the truck that hit him. His
face was a red mask. A cacophony of voices could be heard: “OH, MY GOD!” and “MINE
GOT” and “HARI KRISHNA!” and some other Chinese gibberish. One Japanese had his
Nikon glued to his eye and was firing away while an old lady standing by his
side was weeping silently. One of the gawkers rushed to the poor devil and
expertly put two fingers to the man’s carotid, feeling for a pulse. He raised
his head and declared:
“HE'S ALIVE!”
The crowd issued a collective sigh of
relief and voices were heard saying: “Praised be the Lord” and “Halleluiah” and
“Born in the USA”.
Finally, the wail of an ambulance could be heard from two
blocks away.
Dagobert is usually more
careful when crossing the street but that fateful morning, he had so much on
his brain that he never saw the truck hurtling down the street. It hit him
smack on the face. Anyway, they rushed him to hospital, the ambulance flew. But
when they arrived there was naught they could do. (Hey, that's poetry! God, I
surprise even myself sometimes.) The surgery took six hours.
He's now in the recovery
room, face all covered in bandages and the surgeon is taking his pulse and
looking at his watch. He's going to be late again, I know. "How're you
feeling, asks the surgeon?"
Still woozy from the anesthetics, Dago, as his friends call him, says: "I
feel like I've been hit by a truck. How did the operation go, Doc?" Doctor
Hoo (he's Chinese, by the way) smiles benignly at the bandages and says
reassuringly:
"I'm proud to say that the operation was a success although
you lost your right eye, I'm afraid. It was completely useless when they
scraped it off the grill of the truck. But we did save your left eye."
"Well I should be grateful, says Dagobert in a trembling voice, thank you
so much."
"No need to thank me. Glad to have been of assistance. Now, take a good
rest and before leaving, remember to ask the nurse to give you the eye we
saved."
"All's well that ends well?"... I mean does the saying, "look on the bright side" count when he can't see?.. :P
sounds like some of the doctors I work with.. is it in one of those "pickling" jars, sitting on the nurses station?.. what the heck was the doctor operating on then, the "eye" he saved?.. ha!..
cute Woody, as always got a little giggle..
Dr Hoo knew
was nothing he could do
He tried stitches and glue
even some homemade brew
a stew of ghastly green goo
threw in a hammer and screw
at last-the crew
somehow pulled through
fixed it right up, almost like new
what's left, but to enjoy the view?
(couldn't resist)..
lol I swear you're a riot April. romantic, naughty and funny (wow what a combination!)
look o.. read morelol I swear you're a riot April. romantic, naughty and funny (wow what a combination!)
look on the bright side is even better.
pickle jar hahaha. better than wrapped in a tissu, right?
I love that poem to bits :)
thank you very much for your witty review, April.
9 Years Ago
You always tickle my funny bone Woody, you know I am a fan!... Glad I could make you giggle.. You ar.. read moreYou always tickle my funny bone Woody, you know I am a fan!... Glad I could make you giggle.. You are more than welcome my friend, and thank you :)
Well at least he pulled through...One for the hammer horror of comedies Woody, loved the gruesome, graphic ending !!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
thank you dear Tom. and pull through, he did. now all he has to do is learn how to twirl it between .. read morethank you dear Tom. and pull through, he did. now all he has to do is learn how to twirl it between his fingers and make it travel up and down. a neat trick. I saw some magicians do that.
10 Years Ago
Ha Woody...no flies on you my man ! Lol...
10 Years Ago
I meant magicians do it with tiny balls of course.
10 Years Ago
Woody did you hear the one about the expert military marksman who was so good he could shoot the bal.. read moreWoody did you hear the one about the expert military marksman who was so good he could shoot the balls of a fly from 1/2 a mile away ?
10 Years Ago
hahaha no I haven't. that's some marksman!
a good shot with lazer vision and minuscule bullets.. read morehahaha no I haven't. that's some marksman!
a good shot with lazer vision and minuscule bullets.
10 Years Ago
Ah Woody you're too smart by poetic friend, a uniformed friend of mine told that one to another civi.. read moreAh Woody you're too smart by poetic friend, a uniformed friend of mine told that one to another civilian friend ( an accountant) & he took the bate, hook, line & sinker!! Boom, boom ....
10 Years Ago
lol mind you, could've been a giant fly. I'm just exploring all the possibilities.
Groan..... Woody, I think this qualifies as "black humor", not that there's anything wrong with that. I rather like it, in fact. Reminds me of one of those "good news and bad news" jokes.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
hey Sam. yeah I'm well aware it's kinda black. but if it can produce a smile then I'm happy.
m.. read morehey Sam. yeah I'm well aware it's kinda black. but if it can produce a smile then I'm happy.
my motto is humour is humour no matter the colour.
thank you for the kind visit.
I'm glad you find you have to remind us when we get to the 'poetic' part...Born in the USA, really?
Dagobert, that in itself is pretty dang funny...Gah, creepy ending. You're twisted Woody. :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
what can I say? it's a motley crowd. I was as surprised as you to hear that nutty shout.
think.. read morewhat can I say? it's a motley crowd. I was as surprised as you to hear that nutty shout.
think I'm twisted? you should see me when I've put a few pints under my belt :)
thanks for the lovely visit, Dear.
10 Years Ago
Who says that when someone's dying? haha I can only imagine..... :)
Haha oh my god Woody I knew the ending would get me and it did.Why are you so mean ??? This made me laugh so hard but then you always make me laugh .You are a brilliant writer comedic or otherwise :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
thanks heaps Vid. the ring of your laughter is, as always, music to my ears.
10 Years Ago
Lol....you sweet talker you.You are welcome Sir Woody :)
I will need at least 50% of all your earning. Signed in blood- Read my story '' Saving Ryan's Privat.. read moreI will need at least 50% of all your earning. Signed in blood- Read my story '' Saving Ryan's Privates'' if you enjoy a laugh. Will
10 Years Ago
you've got yourself a deal, Will. And no I haven't. But I'll do it right away.
ok, time for an update I think. my old friends have come to know me pretty well, I trust so this is for the new comers.
I'm a Tunisian 60-year-old teacher-cum-translator, book worm who enjoys writing.. more..