Strange encounter of the third kind

Some of the encounters we make can mark us for life.

She pushed the door to her regular bar

And eagerly mounted a stool

No one around; she’s the quickest by far

No, she’s not a drunk; don’t be a fool

 

She rapped on the bar, licking her lips

And started to flap like a caught trout

She couldn’t sit still, she wriggled her hips

And opened her mouth, intendin’ to shout

 

When out came a horse, napkin in hoof

Greeting the girl while wiping a wineglass

“What will it be? I have no time to goof”,

Whinnied the horse and swished his tail with class

 

The girl opened her mouth and shook like a leaf

Her eyes like saucers, blood drained from her face

She slid from the stool, backtracked like a thief

And stammered: “has the cow sold this place?”

Reviews

[barleygirl]

LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! I wanted this one to go on & on! I love the way you're personifying the creatures & in the case of the sassy bar patron with wiggly hips, I'm still guessing as to the species!?!?!? Each well-penned detail is so original and unexpected . . . "napkin in hoof" (!??!?!) . . . so much imagination, now you're starting to inspire my next stab at Watership Café . . . or maybe it should be Watership Bar this time! *tee! hee!* Thanks for the fun read with my coffee this morning! (((HUGS)))

[Woody]

many thanks for your lovely review, barleygirl. my heart is aflutter (is that a word?)
this one was first then came the story of the same title. I'm overjoyed you liked it :))

[barleygirl]

Now you've sent me to peruse your library, since I can't remember the story . . . gotta go check that out! Yes, aflutter is a real thing that happens to me all the time! *smile*

[Shabeeh Haider]

A nice poem that will amuse the reader. The lines about the horse were just beginning to sink in when you strike reader with the concluding lines about the cow.
Pure wit and nice rhymes.

[Woody]

I know I'm not too bad with the rhymes but the rhythm, scan, meter an' all that, that's another story :( here's my secret: make 'em laugh, they won't pay attention to your shortcomings.
thanks a lot, my friend. glad you found it amusing.

[LastMonth]

Priceless.
Your humor is pure wit and intelligence. Yet it feels so simple that it almost bothers me I can't think of these things myself.

Consider me a fan.

[Woody]

you are a terrific flatterer, LastMonth, but I thank you profusely the kind words.

I wrote this poem first, then, pushed by Marie, I turned it into a story (same title) which I personally prefer as there were no poetic constraints and I could play the fool as much as I liked.

[Beccy]

Very funny.

A fish walks into a bar and the barman asks, "what'll it be?"
"just water, and make it fast," the fish croaks.

[Woody]

hahaha the fish croaks :)
care to read the woodworm lymerick?

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Woody... she mounted a stool... and the fun was
wild! Crazy poem that made me tipsy . Vat rule... Pat

[Patricia Wedel]

truly... Pat

[Woody]

thanks a lot Pat. it always makes my day when readers think my silly writing is funny.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Woody... You are very talented with a
great sense of humor. As ever... Pat

[Frieda P]

Ha so that's where the black stallion hangs out eh? Clever piece of work here Woody !

[Woody]

thanks heaps, queen poetess. yes black stallions make great bartenders, apparently!

[Frieda P]

I wouldn't know, so I've heard :)

[Nic Archer]

This little gem caught me off guard.
Very clever. I look forward to more!

[Woody]

awfully nice of you Brian. so glad you liked it.

[Samuel Dickens]

What a shock! Poor stool-gal will have to do some super-duper quick schmoozing in order to get free drinks from that horse! (They're very tight-hooved, you know)

[Woody]

haha I'm typing and laughing, Sam. tight-hooved. yes I suppose it was easy to bum drinks from the previous bartender. she was a stupid cow.

[Tom]

As you well know Woody, I particularly enjoy the personification of animals and especially when used in a condescending, humous style against us dumb-a*s humans, so this tale is another little gem !

A Saturday night time special, keep em coming Woody !!

[Woody]

many thanks my friend. you made my evening.
incedentally, I heard that one straight from the horse's mouth.

[Tom]

Ha, the irony is lost on me !