Diet

Weight is everybody's nightmare.

This is the story of Hugh Mongusbum

A free spirit and a wonderful mate

Kind and generous as a rule of thumb

Though he’s a little bit overweight

 

His wife doesn’t enjoy sex anymore

His gut is to blame, his weight an ordeal

Not on the bed, not even on the floor

In his shoes, imagine how you’d feel

 

He exercised daily, went to the gym

Worked out, pumped iron n’ used the treadmill

Hoping that one day he'd become slim

But fat and flabby he remained still

 

The nutritionist saw the problem straight away

So he suggested: “why don’t you diet?”

In Hugh’s face joy took the place of dismay

He said: “which colour d’you think she’ll like it?”

 

 

Reviews

[Frank]

I have poem to review this time. I liked it, funny with many true glimpses into human nature. Not keen on your font though, prefer really black fonts for my tired old eyes.

How do you know me so well, who told you all about me, why did you write it down for all to see.

i liked the ending, you probably have Welsh blood, same humour. Does humour dwell in the blood or gene-pool, probably not.

Hugh was probably a little deaf when he mistook diet for dye it. So funny yet so true.

[Woody]

hi Frank. I'm sorry, mate. you know that sooner or later the truth will out. my readers have the right to know the truth. but, hey, I didn't mention you by name, though I gave a hint (did you get the guy's name?).
so I have Wlsh humour? interesting! I'm flattered.
now, that damn font! I'll never get it right. it IS black on my screen! I'll change it.
thank you so much for stopping by and commenting :)

[Carol Cashes]

Yasss!!! This is funny and a delightful little quick read at 1:45 am this Friday morning. Maybe I'll actually park next to my regular parking spot at work and walk those extra six steps...

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Woody,
"Diet"
All of a sudden the superficial comes to mind. Weight is so trasitory but at the same time reallly important. I like how youv'e made light of it just a little bit. It is easy to take ourselves to seriously. How many of us have been bone thin and stil feel like we are fat!? Bless you for writing this reminder to place focus on the importance of human beings and not their bodies.
Kathy

[roarke]

aaaarrrggghhh.....snagged me on that one Woody.... a question, in the third stanza, third line, "he will become"... seems to stagger the flow of the meter. How about something like: "Hoping one day he'd become slim" or Hoping that one day he would become slim" I don't know, maybe we should all just dye-it..... hahaahahaha

[Woody]

thank you roarke for the visit and the suggestion. you're right. I'll make the change.
mmm.. dye it, I'm beginning to like the idea lol

[Lydia Shutter]

Delightful play on words...dye it, diet! Smiling here. Great rhyming. Lydi**

[Woody]

thank you so much Lydia. I sure am glad this one made you smile.
I know I'm a worry head but any thoughts on the name? or is it not obvious?

[Lydia Shutter]

I think the title is just fine.....and the entire poem is fun. I love the rhyming and the play on words.

[Woody]

actually I meant the guy's name :)
thanks again Lydia.

[Lydia Shutter]

humongous bum? I think that is SUPERB!!!!!!

[Woody]

hahaha thank you Lydia. I feel so much better :)

[Jimmy Yetts]

Well, the man is willing to do just about anything to please his wife--except, of course, cut down on the gut-fill. In a way, I suppose he's "color blind."
Enjoyed this amusing poetic anecdote and it's nicely rhymed account of Huge Hugh.

[Woody]

thanks loads Frankie. glad you enjoyed this one.
Huge Hugh. I like that, though that's not what I had in mind when I called him (Humongus Bum)

[Matching Socks]

Lol. I didn't see that coming. I have to admit!
Clever twist of meaning!

[Woody]

thanks Ana :) always a pleasure to surprise you.

[wordman]

I am on a diet!gained 3 pounds I like this diet

[Woody]

haha. pick a colour, first :)
I chose blue. works like a charm.

[Christine]

Love Mr Hugh Mongusbum. Very funny.

[Woody]

he's a lovable character, though he's.. huge :) thanks a lot Murph. pleased you find it funny.

[wordman]

this sounds like a tom sawyer type classic

[Woody]

oh my! how flattering to be compared to Mark Twain! thank you very much wordman.

[wordman]

you are welcome mr twain