Beetle

thwated kill

Yesterday, as is my habit after eating, I found myself aimlessly strolling in the house, trying to walk off the roast chicken I’d had for lunch and checking the rooms for intruders. I may sound paranoid but, to me, security of the home is paramount. 

Prudence was sleeping upstairs and you could tell the kids were at school from the blissful peace and quiet that permeated the whole place. The only noise I could hear was the ticking of the grandfather clock in the hall and the regular hum of the fridge in the kitchen. I’d just finished my tour and was about to go take a shuteye when I saw this huge beetle lurking by the entrance door. Hairs stood on my nape. Now, I know I’m not squeamish or anything but I simply cannot abide those creepy crawlies with their multiple legs and black carapaces. Makes you wonder why God, in his infinite wisdom, created those abhorrent creatures. Without a second thought, I pounced on the stupid critter, intending to crush it to a pulp when, all of a sudden, little Jude's yellow submarine toy hit me on the back of my head and Mother Mary (Prudence’s mother) yelled from the kitchen door:

“Let it be!”

I never got on well with the woman and I, for one, am sick and tired of her tirades about how all life is sacred on this earth. She then strode into the hall, bent down and wagged her finger at me and said in that irritating voice of hers that she uses when talking to little children:

“Bad boy! I told you once if I told you a thousand times not to mess up the place with dead insects. Go out now, shoo!”

I didn’t say a word. What’s the use? I tucked my tail between my hind legs and, head low, slunk out to the garden. 

Author's Note

try to find the references to five known songs. no swearing if you can't, please.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Well, okay then . . . BEATLES' songs: YESTERDAY, DEAR PRUDENCE, HEY JUDE, & YELLOW SUBMARINE. Then there's LET IT BE (featuring Mother Mary) . . . whew! I actually got this puzzle and I haven't even had my 2nd cup of coffee yet! (It's still quite dark outside for another hour at least!)

The beetle crushing idea reminds me of my experience volunteering in animal shelters for 6 years. I felt like a fraud as an animal lover, becuz these rabid staff members would carry live insects & rodents outside to release them live!!! Not me. My big dilemma is that I hate the sensation of crushing as much as I hate seeing the creatures crawling around.

Thank you for the brain tease . . . I'm almost awake now.

[Woody]

spot on, clever girl! :)
I think we are alike in that I'm quite squeamish when it comes to killing those horrible creatures. BRRR! see the goosebumps? but I can't abide them.
thanks a bunch, B.
dark outside? you're an early riser!

[barleygirl]

Restless dogs wiggling in bed make it impossible to sleep any longer . . . I must get up, let them out to do their morning constitutional, then feed them . . . I'm wide awake, yet they go back to bed for another four hours, while I shiver here in front of the computer . . . *sigh!*

[Woody]

yes I forget you have to tend to the business of your animals. the downside to living on a farm, I suppose.

[elm321]

Very descriptive and interesting POV. I didn't guess until the end!

[Woody]

thank you very much elm.

[Stan]

Good one, but drop the "I" in the first sentence.

[Woody]

thanks a lot Stan. drop the "I"? unless I drop the "as" and the following comma, as well. is that what you mean?

[Stan]

No, sorry, I think you might have made a change I did not see. This looks good. Good story, too, and I didn't even catch the Beatles references until I read the other comments.

[Woody]

yes Stan, I did make a change. and thanks again. the Beatles are my first love (music-wise). kind of a tribute.

[magenta24uk]

I would love to read this again with more song titles in it. Excellent idea and as a huge fan I totally approve! lol

[Woody]

thanks heaps Magenta. I did think of including more (there are 5 references) and then refraigned. i was worried it might seem forced (!) and over the top.

[magenta24uk]

I think you could manage it. I think the beginning could have one casually thrown in. She could look out of the window and see a 'black bird' or she could be thinking of 'fixing a hole' You could use quite a few more without it looking weird. x

[Woody]

gotcha! worth the try, thx. oh by the way, why did you say "she"?

[magenta24uk]

Isn't that funny I read it as a girl and not a boy. lol Even the "Bad boy" bit didn't discourage my own imagery!! lol.

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Is this poem about why God created demons with tails that they can use to stick it in their own behinds which signifies that all demons are gay because all gays have a tail that could be stepped on.

[Woody]

hahaha that's a funny way to look at it.
very good.
that said, I wonder why you said poem!!
thanks for stopping by and taking the time to review.

[Darkimmortal]

"I found me aimlessly strolling in the house," Me should be "myself". Some of the sentences after this are awkward but not enough so that i felt compelled to point them out. Everything makes sense so I am going to leave you alone.

That being said I really like the feel of this story. At first I thought I was reading about the clever internal dialogue of a small child or the owner of the house and it turned out to be a dog! I must say that was a pleasant surprise. Also, the way you described the beetle as a "stupid critter" "abhorrent creatures" and "creepy crawlies" made me smile. Also, double points for using the word "abhorrent"! A lot of people don't know what it means let alone how to use it correctly. *clapclapclap* (can you tell how light-hearted this story made me?)

All in all this was a clever little read. Keep penning!

[Woody]

Thank you very much D. it's always good for the ego to hear praise on a story you write in a foreign language. Tanks for the review, duly noted. did you get the references to the Beatles by any chance? Or are they before your time?

[Darkimmortal]

Unfortunately, I am not a loyal fan of the Beatles (scandalous I know), so those references flew right over my head. As I read the story over again I can see the "let it be" and the yellow submarine, but I failed to catch it the first time. I wish I had noticed those, as it really adds to the cleverness of the story.

[Woody]

I'm so glad you like it, thanks. and yes not knowing the Beatles is scandalous (tsk, tsk)
incidentally, there are 5 references to the Beatles :)

[Darkimmortal]

Forgive me oh clever one for not catching onto the Beatles references. I am but a humble horror writer, bent on the destruction of the fictional world.

[Woody]

this last comment shows you do have a very good sense of humour :)
and not knowing the Beatles is not scandalous (I was quoting you). I was joking. they must be before your time.

[Darkimmortal]

I was more than aware of the fact that you were joking. :p And yes, they are before my time but not unheard of.

[roarke]

um.... BeAtles...hahahaahaha I wonder if Ringo is gonna seek royalties on this piracy...hahahaahhaha

fun stuff.

[Woody]

hahaha. there's also Paul Mc Cartney to contend with. thanks for taking the trouble.

[KWP]

i knew your stories would have a light happy warm feel to them, i love it!!! so simple and easy, great imagery, i was there with you, I could small the roast chicken, it reminds me a little of 'Family Matters' by Rohinton Minstry ... love love love and well done x

[Woody]

thank you so much Liz. that was a tribute to the Beatles, my favourite band. hope you got all the references.

[Tom]

So glad to read the hapless beetle escaped summary execution !

A pleasant short read, I can see your affinity and admiration within towards the 60's pop group 'The Beatles', well penned !

[Woody]

thank you very much indeed for taking the trouble and for the compliment.

[Hope]

Wow ! the end was surprising :D I thought you were a mother but you turned out to be a cute dog ! :D It was very good :) Keep writing !

[Woody]

thanks, Hope. I wonder if you've noticed the references to the songs. that is, unless you don't know the Beatles.

[Hope]

I know who they are but I never followed them..a far off yet distinct land you see :)

[Woody]

they are before your time.

[Will Neill]

Great little story,never seen it coming.well done.
Will

[Woody]

thank you, Will. Incidentally, I'm a huge fan of the Beatles. So, that's my tribute to them.