Beetle

thwated kill

Yesterday, as is my habit after eating, I found myself aimlessly strolling in the house, trying to walk off the roast chicken I’d had for lunch and checking the rooms for intruders. I may sound paranoid but, to me, security of the home is paramount. 

Prudence was sleeping upstairs and you could tell the kids were at school from the blissful peace and quiet that permeated the whole place. The only noise I could hear was the ticking of the grandfather clock in the hall and the regular hum of the fridge in the kitchen. I’d just finished my tour and was about to go take a shuteye when I saw this huge beetle lurking by the entrance door. Hairs stood on my nape. Now, I know I’m not squeamish or anything but I simply cannot abide those creepy crawlies with their multiple legs and black carapaces. Makes you wonder why God, in his infinite wisdom, created those abhorrent creatures. Without a second thought, I pounced on the stupid critter, intending to crush it to a pulp when, all of a sudden, little Jude's yellow submarine toy hit me on the back of my head and Mother Mary (Prudence’s mother) yelled from the kitchen door:

“Let it be!”

I never got on well with the woman and I, for one, am sick and tired of her tirades about how all life is sacred on this earth. She then strode into the hall, bent down and wagged her finger at me and said in that irritating voice of hers that she uses when talking to little children:

“Bad boy! I told you once if I told you a thousand times not to mess up the place with dead insects. Go out now, shoo!”

I didn’t say a word. What’s the use? I tucked my tail between my hind legs and, head low, slunk out to the garden. 

Author's Note

try to find the references to five known songs. no swearing if you can't, please.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Well, okay then . . . BEATLES' songs: YESTERDAY, DEAR PRUDENCE, HEY JUDE, & YELLOW SUBMARINE. Then there's LET IT BE (featuring Mother Mary) . . . whew! I actually got this puzzle and I haven't even had my 2nd cup of coffee yet! (It's still quite dark outside for another hour at least!)

The beetle crushing idea reminds me of my experience volunteering in animal shelters for 6 years. I felt like a fraud as an animal lover, becuz these rabid staff members would carry live insects & rodents outside to release them live!!! Not me. My big dilemma is that I hate the sensation of crushing as much as I hate seeing the creatures crawling around.

Thank you for the brain tease . . . I'm almost awake now.

[Woody]

spot on, clever girl! :)
I think we are alike in that I'm quite squeamish when it comes to killing those horrible creatures. BRRR! see the goosebumps? but I can't abide them.
thanks a bunch, B.
dark outside? you're an early riser!

[barleygirl]

Restless dogs wiggling in bed make it impossible to sleep any longer . . . I must get up, let them out to do their morning constitutional, then feed them . . . I'm wide awake, yet they go back to bed for another four hours, while I shiver here in front of the computer . . . *sigh!*

[Woody]

yes I forget you have to tend to the business of your animals. the downside to living on a farm, I suppose.

[MsJewel]

Love your Beatles reference in this cute little tale.
You are so creative. I love the way your mind works

:) Julie

[Woody]

haha thank you very much Julie. you're too kind.

[MomzillaNC]

A doggy tale! What a great tribute to The Beatles.

NOTES: I recommend a different font face -- Times or Georgia for a serif font; Arial or Helvetica for a san-serif font. If you look in the browser's reader window, you'll see the browser reader automatically displays the font in Times.

[Woody]

thanks heaps Momzilla. the Beatles are my very first contact with western music. it was love at first sight.
I'll change the font. I'm miffed. I never know what works best. the text looks alright on my screen. several readers have made the same remark.

[MomzillaNC]

As a former graphic designer, I can tell you that Courier (the font you used here originally) is almost NEVER used. It just doesn't parse well.

[Woody]

ok I definitely got that. no more Courier. who wants a courier anyway? I'll deliver my own mail myself from now on.
thanks again :)

[MomzillaNC]

LOL YW

[Jimmy Yetts]

The Beatles always bugged me.
This piece is a very smartly done slice-of-life--and I truly enjoyed reading it.
Happy 2015, Woody!

[Woody]

thank you very much Frankie. my personal tribute to the Fab4.
and a very HAPPY NEW YEAR to you, too.

[M.E.Lyle]

Ha ha ha old man, you've done it again, but I wonder, how does one find himself? I have been lost before, but I don't recollect actually losing myself. And just for your information, I've never gotten on the well with that woman either.

[Woody]

well you know old age, my friend! :) thank you so much for stopping by, buddy.

[Lydia Shutter]

You are obviously a Beatles fan.....loved the references and the story was cute. I could almost hear the humming of the refrigerator and the ticking of the clock! Lydi**

[Woody]

that, I am. a huge fan. I'm so glad you stopped to read this one as I know for certain that you are basically a poetess. so I'm grateful you took the trouble. thank you Lydia.
however, if you do not want to bother with the stories, I do have a few, loopy poems and limericks, iff you care to look for them :)

[Rachelle]

ROFL! I missed this for more than half a year!

[Woody]

welcome back :))))

[Tiana]

LOL Woody, I do not like creepy crawlies or flying ones too. I would be out of there so fast and won't go back until it's gone. lol You are hilarious and I simply adore your sense of humor. Wonderfully written :)

[Woody]

thanks a lot Dear. glad you enjoyed this one.
mmmm.. I wonder if you spotted the song references. but I'm guessing you're too young.

[Tiana]

Yes I did, Woody :) I just remember the chorus to that song and I will look for it to listen ...

[Woody]

that song? songS by the Beatles :)

[Beccy]

Clever and absolutely great fun to read, and just as I thought Mother Mary had the survival of the beetle uppermost in mind, there came the twist, when she was really only interested in making sure you didn't make your usual doggy mess.

Beccy.

[Woody]

haha. thanks for stopping by Beccy. yeah, I like dogs though they can be terribly messy at times.read morehaha. thanks for stopping by Beccy. yeah, I like dogs though they can be terribly messy at times.
so happy you enjoyed the read.

[Samuel Dickens]

First of all, the title, "Beetle" is much like "Beatle". Then there's "Yesterday", "Dear Prudence", "Hey, Jude", "Let it be" and "Yellow Submarine". The ticking clock made me think of two different Pink Floyd tunes, but then that's a different group. This is a fun read, Woody.

[Woody]

thank you so much Sam. it is easy for people from your generation and mine to spot those. people who like the Beatles, of course. they have always been my favourite. the Pink Floyd is another great band I like but they did not cross my mind, at the time.

[Jessica]

Nice, the Beatles :D Well, let's seee. "Dear Prudence" "Yesterday" "Hey Jude" "Yellow Submarine" and of course "Let it be!" This was very clever. I am a huge beatles fan. You know, the dog could have been "Martha", Paul's dog which the song was about. :D

[Woody]

thanks for stopping by, Jessica. I, too, am a huge fan. of course for a fan, that was easy.
I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't know the dog's name was Martha. not good for a fan, huh?
was that something like "Martha, my dear..."?