Beetle

thwated kill

Yesterday, as is my habit after eating, I found myself aimlessly strolling in the house, trying to walk off the roast chicken I’d had for lunch and checking the rooms for intruders. I may sound paranoid but, to me, security of the home is paramount. 

Prudence was sleeping upstairs and you could tell the kids were at school from the blissful peace and quiet that permeated the whole place. The only noise I could hear was the ticking of the grandfather clock in the hall and the regular hum of the fridge in the kitchen. I’d just finished my tour and was about to go take a shuteye when I saw this huge beetle lurking by the entrance door. Hairs stood on my nape. Now, I know I’m not squeamish or anything but I simply cannot abide those creepy crawlies with their multiple legs and black carapaces. Makes you wonder why God, in his infinite wisdom, created those abhorrent creatures. Without a second thought, I pounced on the stupid critter, intending to crush it to a pulp when, all of a sudden, little Jude's yellow submarine toy hit me on the back of my head and Mother Mary (Prudence’s mother) yelled from the kitchen door:

“Let it be!”

I never got on well with the woman and I, for one, am sick and tired of her tirades about how all life is sacred on this earth. She then strode into the hall, bent down and wagged her finger at me and said in that irritating voice of hers that she uses when talking to little children:

“Bad boy! I told you once if I told you a thousand times not to mess up the place with dead insects. Go out now, shoo!”

I didn’t say a word. What’s the use? I tucked my tail between my hind legs and, head low, slunk out to the garden. 

Author's Note

try to find the references to five known songs. no swearing if you can't, please.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Well, okay then . . . BEATLES' songs: YESTERDAY, DEAR PRUDENCE, HEY JUDE, & YELLOW SUBMARINE. Then there's LET IT BE (featuring Mother Mary) . . . whew! I actually got this puzzle and I haven't even had my 2nd cup of coffee yet! (It's still quite dark outside for another hour at least!)

The beetle crushing idea reminds me of my experience volunteering in animal shelters for 6 years. I felt like a fraud as an animal lover, becuz these rabid staff members would carry live insects & rodents outside to release them live!!! Not me. My big dilemma is that I hate the sensation of crushing as much as I hate seeing the creatures crawling around.

Thank you for the brain tease . . . I'm almost awake now.

[Woody]

spot on, clever girl! :)
I think we are alike in that I'm quite squeamish when it comes to killing those horrible creatures. BRRR! see the goosebumps? but I can't abide them.
thanks a bunch, B.
dark outside? you're an early riser!

[barleygirl]

Restless dogs wiggling in bed make it impossible to sleep any longer . . . I must get up, let them out to do their morning constitutional, then feed them . . . I'm wide awake, yet they go back to bed for another four hours, while I shiver here in front of the computer . . . *sigh!*

[Woody]

yes I forget you have to tend to the business of your animals. the downside to living on a farm, I suppose.

[William Richards]

Love it. Love the Beatles references particularly the 'Let it be!'. And the point of view twist. Exemplifies good writing. Shelved this into my library for future chuckles :)

[Woody]

Hi William,
awfully sorry about the late reply. I'm elated you liked this one. the Beatles were my first contact with western music. my love for them has never diminished.

[emmajoy]

Okay, so I'm a Brit.. and didn't notice. Just send me to hell or Coventry - how duhhh of me.

Was about to leave a review saying how smoothly your words are laid.. how well you build an atmosphere of near mystery.. and.. what a great finish!!!

Won't bother now - My ignorance spins into goodness knows what, Woody... !

Laughing, creeping out.. muttering, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah.'

Oh yeah?!

[Woody]

AAH Emma! when I posted this, I was sure the Brits would get it in an instant. didn't the title ring a bell?
thank you, Dear for stopping in. glad it made you laugh. OBLADI OBLADA...

[emmajoy]

Think the sun must have got to me when i left that review.. now slightly amended.

[Woody]

nah. it's all before your time. I always forget I belong to another era. you're just a baby, for God's sake.

[emmajoy]

Just come in to read again and i see the clues so clearly... no excuses for my stupidity first time read.. and of course I know about the Beatles.. even heard a brass band play their songs the other evening, open air concert.. brilliant!

[Bec]

ahh Brilliant use of the Beatles!! Yesterday, Hey Jude and Yellow submarine. Very original :) I are the ones i picked out.

[Woody]

ok I'll give you 18/20. pretty good :) you missed let it be (!) and dear prudence.
thanks a bunch Bec. glad you liked it.

[...]

Woody! I missed you so I came by for a laugh and as ALWAYS you never disappoint your guest :)))))

[Woody]

thank you so much dear Lynn. and what a pleasure to see you enjoy my clowning.
been away for some time. trying to find my muse.

[Roland Petrov]

The Beatles are back in this little tale starring a philosophical canine. Whatever will this Woody character think of next!

[Woody]

haha thank you Roland. the Beatles constitute my first contact with the English language. and it was love at first sight (hearing?).

[Terpsichore]

Into the garden and straight into the doghouse hey Woody.

Enjoyed how you incorporated the five Beatles songs. T

[Woody]

haha when one has been a bad boy, it's only fair that they should be sent to the doghouse.
my personal tribute to one of the best bands ever.
thanks a million Terps.

[Valentine]

Checking for intruders, I should have known something was up with that line. Best put id a doggie door so he can get out by himself.. Valentine

[Woody]

lol the doggie door would give the game away of course. I expect you spotted the songs.
thank you Kathie for digging this one up. this one I like particularly.

[R Smith]

great stuff Woody, so I got Hey Jude, Yellow Submarine, Dear Prudence, Let It Be and Yesterday all Beatle's songs of course, brilliant mate :)

[Woody]

spot on! thought you might like it, being of my generation on top of being British.
ta for taking the time Richard. glad you enjoyed it.

[R Smith]

your welcome, I had to get them all I spent years sat in my room singing every word, bit sad that but i loved it :)

[Woody]

absolutely no harm in that. I'm the eldest of my siblings and I managed to pass on my love for the beatles. then, to my children. everybody knows their songs almost verbatum.

[wordman]

yesterday, let it be bad boy hey jude mother mary
loved the write

[Woody]

haha almost wordman. ok I'll give you second prize. "mother Mary" is in "Let it Be". but you missed Dear Prudence.
thanks a lot for stopping by. I'm so glad you liked it.

[wordman]

well I guess your a beatles fan,and you are welcome woody

[Mr_M]

Woody you devil! I thought I was going mad when reading this. I saw Prudence and I was like "I swear that is a song by the beatles) when I saw the yellow submarine I knew I wasn't mad. Hooray! Excellent tribute, very clever. An excellent example of a day in the life.

[Woody]

thank you so much my friend. glad you enjoyed this one. I had fun writing it. I'm a huge fan of the fab 4.
sorry about the late reply. work kept me away from the site.

[Mr_M]

amazing band. The one band where my favourite song changes weekly. Such a range of different styles.

[Woody]

you're absolutely right. there are plenty of good ones out there but they were unique.