Resolve

Oh, did I not crumble before you like you wanted?
Did I not cry and beg for forgiveness for things which I had no control?
And then with a furrowed brow and a flick of your wrist
You dismissed me
And you ask what you did?
You treated me as lesser
Like I was one of your subjects

Abused my mentality
And manipulated my emotions
You lied to our friends
And then claimed them as yours
Closed me off
So they would never hear
My side of the story

All I care about is money?
You closed the savings account
Probably lied about where it went
Which I didn't even second guess
Till I was asked about rent

Youre a grown a*s man
Who can't handle his emotions
Who cant control himself
And acts on compulsion

Saying you love me
That you can't live without me
Saying you hate me
That you're better off without me

Showing acts of kindness
Then ripping them away
Pretending to cooperate
But I don't think you've ever been swayed

It's been calculated at times
To achieve maximum damage
And when i dont let myself break
Somehow I'm the one that's cruel

You have everyone believing
In your little ruse
Ignoring all your problems
And choose to accuse

Letting people believe
Whatever they want of me
When I've been as honest
As I'm able.
Tangling webs you weave
Refusing to let me be
Claiming I've been dishonest
A good fable.

I'm angry that you
Can still make me this angry
I'm proud of myself
For feeling this anger
I'm not dismissing my guilt
I'm owning my s**t.
But this life that I've built
Is not yours to take.
You've lost your control
And you won't be getting it back
You lose in a contest
When accusations stack.

And I've said this before
That we're even, with pain
I broke your heart.
I almost killed myself.
And yet you continued to push
And I've done my best
And this newfound resolve
Will pass any of your tests

Because im stronger
And I'm smarter
And I'm not near as mean.
And without ignoring facts
Or lying to myself
My conscious will be clean.

Will yours?