Reanimated

this goes all over the place

Why do i feel like im suffocating?
Like stones are piling on top of my lungs?
It's been so long
So f*****g long
Since I was allowed to feel
Didn't have to be poised
And proper
And could cry
And scream
And hate. Unapologetically.
But now they're running rampant
They've been caged for so long
Jealousy
Envy
Contempt
The trio of pain I so eagerly welcome
As I remember what it's like to be me
And you. Youre just there.
And youre here.
With me.
So dark and empty
And pure and full
A swirl of contradictions
Just like me.
How am I supposed to stand a chance
When you feel the calm of a pitch black night
And the drums and bass can move you to tears
And you let out your fears
In a series of bad choices
But bad choices make great stories
And I want all the chapters I can get.
And this is me.
Obsessive and needy
And free loving and clingy.
Scared and trembling
Defiant and loud
Helpless and cold
Empowered and kind.
An every quaking balance
Of compassion and cynicism.

And how dare you understand.
How dare you promise to stay.
And how dare you be so kind.
You'll never be able to leave.

Is this what you want?
The mess and the chaos.
Do you thrive on it like me?
The distortion of vision

Another addiction

Pile them on.

I just need to stand up
Let the boulders roll from my shoulders
Stumble back
When im weightless
And pray I don't fall

I'll take a deep breath
And shake as I exhale
A realize winter is over
But why am I so pale
My blood hasn't flowed
In what seems like forever
Is this what it feels to be thawed?
To be alive again?

F**k thats weird.


8/4 12:51:48 am