Missed opportunity

There he stood
On the verandah
Looking for his date

There she stood
In the parlor
Nervously scouring the place

His best friend
Comes out to chat
Invites him to a game

She nods and greets
Looks about the scene
Thinks he's not in this space

Deep bass booms, but not his heart
As he glances back
He missed his chance

She is with another guy
She takes the arm
The two begin to dance

Heartbroken, he loses the game
Prepares to leave
The dark sky brings rain

She sways and sighs
This is not the guy
For her love, her eyes strain

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Dreamer

Wow, this site just wiped out a long review. I'll try to repeat. It will be shorter, I fear, than the original.

This poem is wonderful in its conception. This is what sets it apart from the average piece found on WC.

I enjoyed the symmetry of this piece, especially the first and second stanza, the symmetry between the experiences of the boy and girl in the story.

I also appreciate the break at the end of the piece. This reprises the symmetry in experience. Neither the boy nor the girl really found what they were looking for and what they really needed and were seeking. Very nice work.

This was greatly enjoyed. High marks. Great talent.

Hone your skills. It's worthwhile, and this won't be a disappointment to you.

Very best regards,

Rick

[Dr.Who.LOVER]

Amazing amazing AMAZING!
You have a gift. Keep it up!