untitled story (so far) pt.3

another scene from my untitled story collaboration

Christopher stared after her, anger flashing in his shockingly blue eyes.  Something had to be done about Coraline. He knew she had allies behind her, their locations unknown. He inferred that there was at least two of them who were major. They were part of the mysterious killings that had been happening in the past few months, although Coraline herself was not the one doing all the dirty work. She was hiring people to do so, benefactors. And all the killings seemed linked. If he could just find out what the link was…

Zoe moaned. There was a throbbing on the left side of her head, and she couldn’t see for some reason out of her left eye. It was all dark. Daniel immediately dashed to her side, Christopher following.

“Are you okay?” Daniel asked, concerned.

“Does she look okay?” Christopher replied sarcastically.

“What’s going on?” Zoe said, ignoring them. “What were you talking about?”

They exchanged looks. She heard Christopher mutter to Dan, “We’ll have to tell her eventually.”

“Tell me what?” Zoe demanded.

Christopher stared at her silently, his eyes flickering untold knowledge. Then he sighed softly. “Zoe…Dan told me all about your encounter with Nadia earlier.”

She gazed back at him impatiently. “Yes, what about it?”

“Well…I might know something about her that you don’t. There’s been suspicious activity in that area of town for a while, and Nadia has stayed at that abandoned sanitarium for years. It’s long out of business, and the killings all take place in that area. That’s where the victims allegedly disappear.”

Zoe gaped at him without breathing a word.

“It gets stranger. All the victims walk there on their own, and they seem to be in a bizarre trance, as if they are being told to go there by some unknown force. The investigative authorities have been studying that part of town for a long time, and they’ve learned much about it. But none of it makes logical sense.”

“What do you mean, ‘logical sense’?”

Christopher looked worried. “I mean that it’s like something…something…supernatural is controlling the victims. Something unearthly.”

“That can’t be true.”

He shrugged. “We can’t rule out that possibility. It might be true. We just can’t know for certain.”

“What do you think about it?”

“I think that Coraline, our primary suspect, has something to do with it.”

“Why can’t you catch her?”

“She might know something that is vital to our investigation, and if we prosecute her, she will not tell us what we need to know.”

“So you’re letting her out killing people?”

“She isn’t the one doing the killings. She’s part of a circle that is doing it. But she does not do it herself.”

Zoe nodded, slightly terrified by this new information. She glanced at Daniel. He’d been staring at the ground the entire time, not saying anything.

Christopher leaned closer to her and said, “But there is something that Nadia said that deeply concerns me. Dan said that she told you both, ‘Well, there’s only room for one living person…but we can fit maybe a hundred souls.’”

Zoe stared into his eyes without speaking.

“I think she chose to say this on purpose, like she was trying to give a hint, since she knew that you or Dan will tell me at some point. And it sorta relates to the possible ‘supernatural’ answer to this investigation…”

Christopher ran a hand through his blonde hair thoughtfully.

“You said that the authorities did some research on the area, what did you find?” she asked him.

Dan looked up when Zoe said that.

“Well…” Christopher said, biting his lower lip. “That’s some dark history. There’s been several murders in that place, and some paranormal activity. It’s been claimed that demons had done the killings by possessing family members to kill family members. But there’s one in particular that paranormalists have been after, one that could not be captured, they say. They infer that Nadia hosts that demon. But each time they go to the sanitarium, they cannot find her.”

“I’m scared now,” Daniel interrupted. “Can we stop talking about this part?”

Christopher smiled humorlessly. “Okay, Dan.”

Zoe sighed, realizing she had been holding her breath.

“Is there anything else you wanted to say?” she asked.

Christopher bit his lip again, thinking. “A bit. You will have more help on this investigation. Everything else can wait, after Zoe leaves the hospital.”

Two days later, Daniel stood outside by the coast, pacing back and forth anxiously. He ran a hand through his hair nervously and walked onto the dock, thinking. He was beginning to get somewhere when an unknown voice interrupited his thoughts.

“Why hellooooo there,” the voice drawled.

Daniel spun around, startled. He saw a girl about his age staring right back at him. She had long brown hair and wide eyes.

“Uhmmm who are you?” Daniel stuttered, biting his lip.

“Nonono sweetheart, the question is who are youuu?” the girl said, stepping closer to him.

“Uhhhh,” he said, taking a step back when the girl got even closer to him.

“What’s that?” she said, reaching a hand out to his face.

“Can you like not do that?” Dan said, trying to back away but stumbling backwards.

Ignoring his protests, the girl lurched forward and tried to plant a kiss on his lips. Dan, caught off guard, fell back onto the sand and scrambled away.

The girl opened her eyes. Then started to laugh meanly at him. She turned and walked away, still laughing.

Dan stared after her in confusion. Then a sudden thought of realization came upon him.

Author's Note

links to part one and two:
part one: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/ghoststories/1407503/
part two: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/ghoststories/1407828/
these are only scenes i wrote b/c i am not the only author of this story, i will only be uploading things i wrote of course

Reviews

[Amber Lily]

Dang those cliff hangers! I like to do those as well though lol keeps the readers attention. I always found the parts with a lot of talking and information to give the reads difficult to write. You need to make sure you don't make your characters ramble but yet give the reader all the necessary information. You did well with this though!
The story is constantly deepening, which is how it should be. Great job! :)

[Ma'at]

thank you!