Belle 6: For Now

The next few weeks I hardly saw Brody at all. He’d bailed on weekend runs around the fields and the races at the track. It was like he died. His friends and I remind each other that he was no longer with us by the way we acted without him. We were still close, but no whole.

I knew this would happen. Miranda was going to do anything she could to take him away from me knowing he was the type who would fall into the honeymoon phase for a long time. I tried not to let it affect me, because that’s exactly what she wants, and if I didn’t give in she’d more likely dump him. I was hoping, mostly for his sake. The less attached he was to her, the less it’d hurt him.

Sadly it would get worse before it gets better. And so I don’t have to be around to see it, I decided to do something. I wanted to stop getting rides from him.

After school, he was out by his truck.

“You ready?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I don’t need rides anymore.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s pointless.”

“Belle, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Brody, I’m gonna fade off into a memory anyway. This way it’s not gonna hurt.”

“But I wouldn’t �"”

“-Let that happen, I know. But it is happening whether or not you wanna admit it. I figure it’s better if I bow out gracefully.”

I knew that once I quit rides with him, he would become a memory. I just wanted to make it happen faster so that the pain would take its tole and go away. I know it sounds selfish, but if I really mean something to him, he’d make it known that I was his friend no matter what. But he didn’t. He forgot about me for weeks. The only difference is I’ll be walking to and from school.

This had to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I couldn’t make it another day in this charade.

“Belle . . .”

“Bye . . .” I started walking away towards the exit of the parking lot. Tears wet my cheeks. I couldn’t believe I just said good-bye to my best friend and the person I love.

I didn’t want to risk seeing Brody drive by me as I walked home. I hopped the white fence and climbed one of the trees. I plugged in my head-phones and cried to my music, sitting on a branch hidden by the leaves that started turning yellow.

I knew I couldn’t just forget about him like he did me. Why should I be friends with a person who forgets about me at the bat of a pretty girl’s eyes? To me that’s not a good friend, but at the same time, the girlfriend should always be put first. That’s when I realized I didn’t mean as much to him as I hoped.

It was hard to admit it to myself. It felt like we just broke up. My chances were not there anymore. I lost him. I waited too long and now he’s gone. There’s nothing I can do about it now.

I finally stopped crying after who knows how long. I started walking down the dirt road when I heard an engine coming up the road. Sonny’s motorcycle. Great. I’m in trouble. Why else would he be rushing to my house?

“Hey! Baby Belle!” he called. He pulled his bike over in front of me, cutting off my path. He frantically pulled off his helmet getting off his bike, “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you home right now?”

I couldn’t even say it. I just broke out in tears again.

“Awe, Belle,” he pulled me into his chest, “I know it hurts.”

“I loved him so much,” I mumbled into his shirt.

“I know . . . I know . . .”

It felt like I would never be able to stop crying it hurt so much. Sonny held me as long as he possibly could.