This I wish I never Knew

These are the thing I wish to no longer understand.

These feelings, these memories, these nightmares.

I wish I never understood why women stay when the first hit strikes.

I wish I never understood what it was like to be ripped from everything you know.

I wish I never understood how it feels to be the perpetual black sheep.

I wish I never knew how it felt to always be the disappointment.

I wish I never knew how it felt to have the most sacred act turn to hell.

I wish I never knew the touch of a man.

I wish I never knew how it felt to be left behind by every friend you ever had.

I wish I never knew how it feels to be betrayed by every man you ever loved.

I wish I never knew the cold stinging pain of a razor.

I wish I never knew the joy of seeing the blood pouring out.

I wish I never knew what it was like to run away.

I wish I never knew the acceptance of wanting to end your life.

I wish I never knew the face of a friend dying in my arms.

I wish I never knew the sight of loved ones in a casket.

I wish I never knew the desire that leads to betraying the one you love.  

I wish I never knew my parents together.

I wish I never knew the Lord’s name.

I wish I never knew how others actions can decide your life.

I wish I never knew this self deprecating nature of mine.

I wish I never knew the sound of the car crush around you.

I wish I never knew the taste of forty pills.

I wish I never knew the feeling of a rope around my neck.

I wish I never knew love at all.

And some days

I wish I never knew how it felt to live

Reviews

[Relic]

This is very sad to read. You bring up some terrible things that could easily live in someone's nightmares.

[EmyBow]

Unfortunately I must say this is all things I have personally been through.

[Relic]

I'm sorry to hear that. I wondered about if you had. I thought to myself either she's really good at remembering what people have said about it or she's been through it all. That's a lot to go through for anyone. Glad to see you're still in one piece.