Not That Girl

I won't be that girl anymore.

He hasn't spoken to me

He must hate me.

Is there another girl?

Why's he even dating me?

 

I will not be that girl.

 

He thinks I'm fat,

I'm not good enough for him

He doesn't really love me,

He just wants one thing in the end.

 

I will not be that girl.

 

I can't make him happy,

It's all my fault he's so upset,

I wouldn't blame him if he dumped me,

Maybe I should kill myself instead.

 

I will not be that girl.

 

We'll be together forever,

a church, a dress, two rings.

He'll be there to hold my hand,

And kiss my cheeks through everything.

 

I will not be that girl.

 

I wonder what our kids will look like?

I bet they'll have his eyes.

God only knows he'll be the perfect husband,

And I the perfect wife.

 

I will not be that girl.

 

We'll grow old together,

Sitting in our rocking chairs,

Holding hands and whispering

"I need you more than air"

 

I will not be that girl.

 

Lie to you and break you,

Suck you dry and use you,

Never let you leave my sights,

Beat you down and abuse you.

 

I will not be that girl.

 

I don't think about tomorrow,

I won't worry about today,

Even if I wanted to,

I won't ask you to change.

I won't drive you off,

Or Plan our every step,

But if I'm not what you're looking for,

I'm envious of that someone else.

But I swear I won't cry in front of you,

If you're ready for someone new,

I won't beg you to stay,

Or ask "oh, what can I do?"

I won't try to control you,

Or ever change your mind,

If it's what you really want,

Then I promise you it's fine.

I will never use you,

Or obsess over every move,

I won't kill myself if you leave,

Because "I can't live without you".

 

I am not that girl