Heartache amiss

Written for Albert's Ten word Abhanga Form Challenge

 

Beyond your gentle kiss

And your embrace of bliss

Our love I’ll truly miss

Don't walk away.

Feelings I’ll miss so much

My fondness of your touch

The Happiness and such

Don't give away.

 

Turn back the hands of time

When you were truly mine

Our love was of the kind

They could not sway.

 

Before this night is through

One thing will still be true

I will always love you

Dear lover stay.

Reviews

[Salvatore Buttaci]

The rhyme scheme is supposed to be a b b c. Your poem is a a a b. But it's a good poem.

[Flowetic Soulchild]

"...Turn back the hands of time
When you were truly mine
Our love was of the kind
They could not sway.

Before this night is through
One thing will still be true
I will always love you
Dear lover stay..."


I love this piece... Your words are beautiful...
its a lovely flow...

[Jibey]

Nice little reminder of the lover's longing to hang on, come what may...

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Really fine job on expressing such deep feelings of devotion and undying love.

[deeps]

Turn back the hands of time
When you were truly mine
Our love was of the kind
They could not sway.

I so wish I could do this,
Wonderful flow, and a wonderful write!

[mystic soul]

great job :) i really enjoyed your poem..... the rhythm and flow of your poem made me hooked to it till the end....