The sun is that women who strikes you every morning, day and night She removes any feeling of fright and blinds you so bright The sun is the realization of one being the center of your universe She inspires growth She illuminates the past and the future The sun is the hottest thing not from this Earth, Metaphorically speaking about her birth
A big bang of brilliance Beauty in the making of life In search of a chance, When ready but not yet known, To take the first glance and make it last forever
Really enjoyed the last stanza of this one...it struck the deepest for me emotionally. I also enjoyed the personification of the Sun as a woman, very fitting, because in lore the sun is usually depicted in the form of a male and the moon is female. You write a thought provoking piece.
First line: Tense issue--I think you mean "the sun is that woman..."
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you for your thoughts on this! You seem to know how to read my syntax between the lines, and y.. read moreThank you for your thoughts on this! You seem to know how to read my syntax between the lines, and yes it was fun to change lore and culture while creating a thought to daydream on. :)
I liked how it had good metaphors though I'm not to sure about where you did and didn't rhyme though that might just be a personal preference of mine :)
Really enjoyed the last stanza of this one...it struck the deepest for me emotionally. I also enjoyed the personification of the Sun as a woman, very fitting, because in lore the sun is usually depicted in the form of a male and the moon is female. You write a thought provoking piece.
First line: Tense issue--I think you mean "the sun is that woman..."
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you for your thoughts on this! You seem to know how to read my syntax between the lines, and y.. read moreThank you for your thoughts on this! You seem to know how to read my syntax between the lines, and yes it was fun to change lore and culture while creating a thought to daydream on. :)
wow...this is so nice...i really liked the way you have described the sun so elegantly ...the diction makes it more nice...the last line...really...that just blew me awway..great work!!!
I had trouble interpreting it, but since it's from a guy's perspective (I assume you're a guy, forgive me if I'm wrong) maybe that's why I don't understand. The rhythm was catchy: I love lines 6 and 7
really cool poem thanx for sharing your originality the description was still possible enough for me to relate to but never got boring excellent balance
Glory be the Sun that warms your heart and make you smile! Such a lovely vision you have painted in my mind! This is very inspiring...nicely done, my friend!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I have been on a positive tip these days, but it has been about a week and a half since I have writt.. read moreI have been on a positive tip these days, but it has been about a week and a half since I have written something new. It's going to come soon. So extremely happy you feel this with such inspiration like the vitamin D which enters your skin effortlessly this is suppose to make you happy too. :)
11 Years Ago
It does! It does!...you're talking my kind of language, for I am a beach baby from the islands...I u.. read moreIt does! It does!...you're talking my kind of language, for I am a beach baby from the islands...I up on the edge of the horizon..where the sun always shines. :)
In a sea of poems about the moon, I found it very refreshing to read your beautiful piece about the sun! Love the feminine qualities you gave to it, well done!
I live the dream. Giving back to art as my breath. Exploring Creative Mechanics with every heartbeat. I love to...Never Stop Learning.
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