Insomniac (Revised)

This poem didn't turn out the way I wanted so I'm just going to keep revising it until I come up with something better.

A peaceful slumber never finds me.
The Sandman mustn’t have me on his list.

Tossing...

Turning…

My only desire is to close my eyes.
Insanity laughs as it awakes. My sanity too tired to fight, sighs…

“Goodbye.”

Pills do nothing but make me high, so no. No sleep tonight!

Oh God! I’m still awake. My nightmares still appear.

Hearing.

Seeing..
Feeling…!

The hellish visions seize me! I’m so afraid to close my eyes.

My soul has never been so terrified!

 

Staring into the eyes of the dead, disgusting decayed.

Praying I wake up soon from this nightmare...

I open my eyes…
I close my eyes...

But those faces, oh my god!
They’re still here and I’m AWAKE!

NO! NO! It’s wrong! I haven’t closed my eyes in so long.

Exhausted

Inert

Lonely

The whole world is asleep. My thoughts faster than a heartbeat.
“Tick-tock”

“Tick-tock”

Watching the clock, I count the hours as I dream of the dreams I cannot dream.
“HELP ME, PLEASE?!?”

Night after night it’s always the same. I watch shadows dance down the hall;
As I listen to the screaming silence of nightfall!

Moonrise

Stars

Sky

No serenity for me.

Thought after thought, my mind’s dragged to hell.
I wish there weren’t so many hours in the night.

Insomnia has its claws in me, it won’t give up without a fight.

I wish dawn didn’t come so early.
I walk slowly through the fast world of day.

 

A peaceful slumber never finds me

Tossing…
Turning...

How much longer till the sandman finds me?
I only desire eight hours of eternity.

Author's Note

Careful critiquing is welcome. Open to suggestions. I wrote this poem about 7 years ago and this is my first revision. So I'd like to revise it until I'm happy with it but I haven't written in awhile. If the writing (lines) seem disorganized #1 think of it as a person with severe insomnia writing their experiences in the middle of a lonely night #2 I rewrote it in google docs and copied and pasted it on here and it pasted differently than I typed it but I'm going to rewrite it again soon anyway.

Reviews

[m3lody mae]

I like this, I wouldn't change anything. I can understand what you are saying just fine

[JenLyn]

Hey, thanks for reading my poem and for the review. I rarely post on here anymore though, but if you'd like to read more of my writing I can give you my tumblr or twitter info and you can add me on one or both of those sites if you'd like? Jen :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good poem. I understand the poem. I can't sleep. I must meditate to clean mind. I liked the set-up of the poetry. Making each point with a honest and true tone. I enjoyed your thoughts and I felt the struggle. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote