A new beginning

                Breathing heavily, my eyes begin to burn. I start to freeze from my toes to the top of my head. Inside feels cold and broken as if I was dead. I get the eager to have a taste of blood. The thought rolls in my mind for a few minutes.  Hunger builds up inside, before I get the chance to move I fall to the ground. My eye site is gone. 

            I open my eyes and see nothing but darkness around me. I get up slowly, for my body is very weak. I start to smell something that makes me want to go after it. So I run towards the smell like I was hunting for food. I reach where the smell was coming from, my eyes become wide. My fane’s grow, and I bit down on the animal that I had been after. The taste of blood flows through my body. Soon as I am full, I get a boost of energy as if I had been reborn.

            I wipe the blood off my face. My eyes go back to normal and my fane’s go back to their normal size. I look down on the ground at the animal. It was tore into pieces. My eyes begin to water as if I was crying. I think to myself ‘what have I done, who am I, or what have I become?’ those questions roll in my mind for a few minutes.

            When my eyes dry, and my body claims down. I run home, and hop into the shower. I wash the blood off my skin. I look down and watch the dark blood drain down. I sit down and cry while the water is still running. I picture the animal that I had killed, and it keeps repeating in my mind over and over.

            I get out of the shower, and walk into my room. I enter and I hear a strange sound, like someone was crying. I look around to see who was in the room and no one was there but me. I walk towards my bed and lay down. I clear my mind of all things, close my eyes and begin to sleep.

***

            Wind blowing high, freezing ageist my face. My eyes become red as blood. Tears roll down my face, words that I couldn’t speak roll in my mind. I can hear nothing a bird call. I seem to be in some kind of forest maybe a part, I wasn’t sure. It was to dark to even tell.

            “Help me!” someone had called out. I follow the voice that I had heard. I reach to person that had yelled. It was a little girl. “How may I help you?” I speak with kind words. The little girl looked scared as if I was going to hurt her. “I’m cold…can you hold me to kind me warm?” she said. So I bend down to hold her. I felt a tension in my neck, and my body became weak.

            “I’m sorry,” those were the last words I had heard from her. When I opened my eyes I see that sun was coming up. I rush to my feet and stated to run tore’s a shed that I had seen nearby.

            When I enter the shed, I had notice there was a huge window. Before I got a chance to find another place, it was too late. The sun was up and I was beginning to burn alive.

***

            I woke up in sweat, my heart was racing, and I was breathing heavily. I think to myself it was only a dream.

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

You need to decide whether to write this in present tense or past tense. Third line-i get the urge. sixth line- eye sight
fangs, should not have an apostrophe
I look down on the ground, seeing the animal I just tore into pieces.
body calms down
Can you hold me to keep me warm?
started to run towards a shed...


That was no dream, it was a nightmare!

[Lady of the Lake]

This is a really nicely written description :) The only thing I would have to say - which I'm sure you would probably fix later on as you re-read - is to watch the spelling/grammar a bit. But that's nothing that can't be changed, so it doesn't really affect your writing overall :)
Keep up the good work :)

[Janice Fronek(red.panda)]

thanks :)

[ℰmerald ⚓]

Wonderful, but it doesn't seem quite finished yet..

[Janice Fronek(red.panda)]

it's not

[Graveyard Queen]

worded wonderfully=) i could imagine everything that was being said

[Janice Fronek(red.panda)]

:) thanks

[beautiful dreamer]

awesome, nough said

[Janice Fronek(red.panda)]

thanks

[Kitten]

This is awesome. I love the wording. It's just very well written. :)

[Janice Fronek(red.panda)]

thanks

[Kitten]

Your welcome.

[Janice Fronek(red.panda)]

i added to :)

[Kitten]

I see. That is a great add on. :)

[Janice Fronek(red.panda)]

thanks