As I Write it Down

My pen bleeds
As its ink seeps
My words cry
The seer weeps
I keep scrawling
Until my pain recedes
Walking on my way
Where my lament leads
Crumbling to bones
Changing to fit the needs
My frailty drives me
As nothingness breeds
In madness I did
Those fearful deeds
Now I'll have to pay
The price of my greed
Making me suffer
My demons succeed
In the garden of love
I feel like a weed
I am looking for my way
To the flowery meads
Where the chains will be shattered
And then I will be freed

Author's Note

Hello everyone!
I know I haven't published anything is a long while. My next poem that I will be publishing will be, in a way, explaining why I've been m.i.a.
I would really appreciate it if you would leave a review. Perhaps with some constructive criticism.

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

I like this quite a bit, E-C. I like the rhyme scheme. One thing I would consider would be to remove some of the filler words By tightening this up I think it would be more impactful.
i.e.
My pen bleeds
the ink seeps...

scrawling until
my pain recedes
following where
my lament leads...

frailty drives me,
nothingness breeds...


These are only suggestions of course, it is a good write.

[sette]

i like the choice of words, the metaphors and of course the rhythmic pattern

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

I like the rhyming that threads through this writing. A nicely written, introspective piece.

[cheyenne summer garcia]

i enjoyed your piece
the gridlines of life

[barleygirl]

I've missed you (I've been sketchy too) . . . hope we can be back for good. I love this poem more for the wordplay than the message. I have to admit I'm not up for a "down" message, but I love the way you turn this seemingly tortured state of mind into artful expression. Most of all I love the way you pay attention to the way the words sound, not exactly rhyming, but an uninhibited flirtation with it! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

madness, tears, fleeing emotions, writing frenzies...pages puddled, the scrawl illegible...
the heart a little lighter.
j.

[The Iron Horseman]

Hi Cat. This is one helluva return! I absolutely love this piece. It manages to be poignant and terse at the same time. No constructive criticism to offer, because there is nothing to criticize. Superb!

[wordman]

i liked it,my pen bleads reminds me of the guitar that weeps