"Your Actions covered up your Thoughts.
Made me feel like a Girl Who Was Wanted .
Caused me, who used to be such a Queen, who
Didn’t Need a King,
Caused my Own heart,
to be
OverThrown."
This was a very heartfelt poem! It was so relatable! I love your writing style. It's unique and it hooks the reader start to finish! You have a talent and it should be shared with everyone! You are one of the best writers that I've come across on this sight! keep up the incredible work!
Your friend,
C. Lee Battaglia
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
C. Lee Battaglia, thank-you so much!
It means a lot to me when you say that I'm one of the be.. read moreC. Lee Battaglia, thank-you so much!
It means a lot to me when you say that I'm one of the best writers that you've come across. In my own eyes, I'm a mere amature at writing, so your kind words are very much appreciated!
6 Years Ago
I really meant it! You are very welcome! And thanks once again for your incredible poetry!
It even rhymes, which signals in my head, that it's related.
Could you imagine, how one would feel, "you're so safe and secure...but impure"
That would be a mindfuck, for sure
I like the rawness to this. There are no queens, or kings
only pimps and w****s
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
The majority of my work is based on my personal experiences, they all have a raw or genuine feeling... read moreThe majority of my work is based on my personal experiences, they all have a raw or genuine feeling.
I write exactly what is in my head, with little to no changes to them, unless the piece is very long.
Thanks for the review.
This was good. Your feelings of longing and young betrayal shine through very well. It gives the sense of youth and the sometimes overpowering emotions that you don't realize until later in life were pretty trivial. Well done, thanks for sharing!
It's sad and beautiful, Emo Cat. Was this based on a personal experience?
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
EJH Horror, yes, this poem is actually based off of a personal experience, but one that happened mon.. read moreEJH Horror, yes, this poem is actually based off of a personal experience, but one that happened months ago.
I live the reference to the storm the raging passion within- what a wonderful feeling- nothing better- but sometimes we expect too much before we even know where things are going and disappoint ourselves and then there are those who give us false hopes as they are lost themselves- rejection can be a blessing in disguise- plenty fish in the sea rather wait for right one- love the words u used🌹
good job. cleverly compelling thoughts. we follow our hearts but must be careful. things aren't always as they appear on the surface but deep down the heart always knows. never easy but all's fair in love and war ...
Many times I find love poems leap to an advanced point in the situation too quickly for my liking. What I loved about reading your poem is the way you crafted a gradual approach with no jolts, your words like a graceful cat approaching the desired culmination of your message. Many times I'm not a fan of using capitalization for emphasis, but the way you did it works well (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Complex feelings, thoughts, and emotions are written here. It's like temptation is warring with caution and desire with questions unanswered - perhaps reluctant of it? Probably shouldn't make this comparison but the ending, beginning with the reference to the Queen reminds me of Cleopatra's story about her kingdom being overthrown by her love. Reason I bring it up though is for the caution has a place but how far you believe it is necessary is up to you. The heart and the mind, an amazing thing to listen to.
Alternative, shy, loves music.
I typically keep to myself, and am not very expressive.
But when I write, it's like I'm some place else.
I've been gone for a while, and I'm working on getting back.. more..