This came to me, (or should I say came Out of me) at 2:11 am 3-5-2018.
I have many ¨medical issues¨, one of them is majorly anxiety of almost every kind. Once my mind gets fixated on something, its as if i'm in a spiral that gets tighter and tighter, but never ending. I get lost in thoughts, strings and strings of thoughts, then the course of those strings change, and it starts all over again. The biggest struggle with this, is not taking the medication for it. I refuse to take the medication for simple reasons. 1, if I take the medication, I won't be able to go into the navy. If you have been on certain meds for a specific length of time, you won't be medically cleared. 2, I want to learn to control this without the meds, and so far I have. With this piece, I'm letting all of who reads this, peek into what it's like. If you have ever heard of the author John Green, one of his newer books, Turtles All The Way Down, explains this feeling perfectly.
My Review
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Emo, this is a very good glimpse into a writer's mind. It is not all hearts and roses, nor is it always straight forward. Quite often the thoughts are jumbled, disjointed and seem to take on a life of their own.
Let them flow onto the page. They can be re-arranged later or not, if that's how they work best.
Good on you for wanting to control your medical issues without meds. It's tough but you'll be better off if you can do it.
The journey, using expressive free writing, brings the reader closer to the themes and mindset of the writer – and – your composition structure has achieved this result! I could feel the tension and anxiety within the text and clearly understood your frustrations. The reference (in the note) to John Green, reminded me of one of his quotes; “The great thing about figurative language and symbols and the like in novels is that you don’t have to be conscious of them for them to work."
I would encourage you to continue to express your inner self through writing; but also seek out like minded kindred spirits to share your feelings! Bless … :-)
I always do enjoy a good stream of conscious type of writing.
You should probably edit this though. There is more potential here than I think you are aware of.
Also, simple line breaks and center spacing do not qualify as pacing. There are a few spots were that breaks down and sounds hokey to the point of removing the reader from the story. It's just a structure issue though and easily fixed. A minor issue.
You write good and stuff... even though your glasses are way too big for your cat face.
It is most definitely a curse. Writing simply is the cure. Big words and inundation, I find, throw a monkey wrench in everything. What's liked generally by readers is simple, very simple. We do fight this urge. Thanks for putting it in words.
Such a powerful piece it is!
And totally relatable..!
I always like the way you portrayed the feelings and emotions in your writings.
Thanks for sharing it..
Loved it :)
Hi. Well done for sharing. I found this very familiar as I have bipolar and when I'm high I suffer from a surfeit of words and ideas. You are in a great dilemma about meds. I have found that without taking lithium it gets destructively out if control. I can't say that is the same for everyone. You might enjoy my poem Manicarus written when I was manic. It is on one of my last pages 7 or 8. All the best with your own plans.
Alan
I have to admit, I liked your author's note better than your poem, altho both are good information & go together well. I am bipolar, took meds for 4 years & hated being "flat" in a zombie-like way, so I understand what you're saying about handling life without meds, which I've done for many years now. I applaud you for knowing what you want & overcoming life's challenges. Your poem is a good way to show how it might feel to be inside your head & it's very powerfully written! Quite unlike anything I've read about anxiety (which I also have) & I always love originality! Fondly, Margie
I loved how at times your words and phrases were disjointed, starting and stopping at seemingly random places. I think there is beauty in that chaos that writers create and then manipulate into something that the world can understand. Amazing poem, you are an incredibly talented writer and I can't wait to read more of your work!
You re right my friend. The writers curse. We see everything and feel too much. I liked the poem. Wild thoughts make good poetry. Thank you for sharing your words and your thoughts.
Coyote
Alternative, shy, loves music.
I typically keep to myself, and am not very expressive.
But when I write, it's like I'm some place else.
I've been gone for a while, and I'm working on getting back.. more..