Chapter 6 of Alaska

6:46 a.m. July 9

I haven’t written in such a long time.  I’m not even going to mention all the accusations I got after my mum and father came home.  It was not surprising when my father started saying things like “How dare you murder your sister!  You were never appreciative of everything that she tried to set the example for!  You're going to go to prison for life and rot in a jail cell where you belong!......................” and much more that I do not want to relive by repeating.

He even told the police this.  But the police knew better than to believe it.  They deemed the accident as suicidal.  Wait, no, not accident.  Alaska took her own life because it was the only escape route that she was able to see to get  out of the hell that we lived in.  She took he life purposefully.  

But,................she’s still trapped in this hell house.

-Sarah

Author's Note

Sorry for such a short chapter, I'm publishing this from something pre-written, and just waiting a while between each section to give others time to read the previous chapters.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I am not crazy about this chapter. It's dissatisfying to have something so brief following a momentous event in these people's lives. The parents' comment sounds too matter-of-fact & it's missing any emotional connection at all. It's like you've completely skipped over the part where a family has been shattered by a suicide. On the other hand, suddenly Sarah is empathetic about how hard Alaska's life was? It's just not believable to me. It feels like I'm reading disconnected snippets with not enuf connective tissue. It takes time to build a connection between your characters & your audience. A powerful, compelling story requires the audience to really care what happens to your characters. Here we have a suicide & it feels like, so far, I've only gotten glimpses of Alaska as a person. So why should I care if she's bumped off? You're losing me on this story. If you want to proceed as if this disconnected style is intentional (as you said about my last review, where I thought you needed to develop the Alaska character more fully before killing her off), then you risk losing more readers like me who are looking for a deeper connection with your characters. I'm sorry for being brutally honest & so far I get the feeling you don't want this kind of review, so this will be the last time I speak my truth here (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Wonderland Asylum]

The truth isn't supposed to be easy to handle, and I prefer to have reviews that have the hard truth, than other readers leaving vague positive reviews.
I can promise you that Alaska's character will be developed, you just have to bear with me here.

[barleygirl]

This is the perfect reply for my doubting mind. I'm all-in again *smile*

[Wonderland Asylum]

the chapter after the next is when you'll be seeing more of our disconnected character, Alaska. The parents a well.
I hope that it all comes together though, because after this chapter, I have to write the rest without my pre-written story. I lost the rest of the pages, so everything from this point on will be completely new.

[barleygirl]

I have re-written old stories . . . I think it can be a good thing to NOT have that previous approach hindering your creativity. I have often re-written old stories without even heeding the first edition, just starting fresh, so I think this will unleash you more than you might think . . .

[A.Tarek]

you keep building up the story in such mysterious way. i can't wait to reach the last chapter.. though it still lacks longevity

[AliceBarnes]

I thought that this was a very meaningful chapter and addition to the story. You conveyed so many emotions all in one chapter. I loved that you have diary entries as it makes me feel closer the characters and the story that they have to tell. I really love where you are going with this story (despite it being sad because who doesn't love a good tragedy?). I don't know why but re-reading this chapter and the other chapters just make the story more detailed to me. Especially with this chapter since I was able to pick up on things that I missed before or didn't really read properly to fully understand them. I will just point out a few things in this chapter that could do with tweaking to make this perfect. I shall start with "You're going to go to prison for life and rot in a jail cell where you belong!......................” and much more." the accusations in the first part of the line awoke my imagination but when it ended with "and much more" I felt as though that could have been written slightly differently (and this is by no means perfect, but just to show you what I mean) you could have said something along the lines of "and there was so much more that I dare not repeat" or you could have left it at the ..."jail cell where you belong bit". That is just my personal opinion and please do not take this badly as I really have been enjoying reading this story. I love the originality of it and the twists and turns of the story, it makes it all the more real and painfully beautiful. Please keep writing and I look forward to reading more of your works in the future.

[Wonderland Asylum]

thank you so much!
I'm glad that you enjoyed this piece.
I'm always looking to better my writing, so thank you for the pointers.

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful and sad write. I lost two brothers to suicide. No-one knew they fear death less than life. Always good to read your work. I hope you are having a safe and fun holiday.
Coyote