Line 10 doesn't make sense to me: "I don’t can’t just your heart." Maybe there's a typo?
Your poem is well written to express the longing one might feel, with good use of specifics, remembering times that used to be. I wonder why the first 2/3 of this poem is first person ("I") and the last bit is third person ("she")? Also I prefer love poems that are deeper than just the physical union. You've done a good job of showing how the physical longing manifests, but I'd also like to see more of this "other person" in terms of personality. (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
This is such a pretty poem! It's written in a way that isn't cheesy or frivolous, and it's quite powerful! One quick correction: I think "I just can't don't your heart," should be "I just don't want your heart?"
This was such a lovely poem! Very well written and beautifully laid out. I really enjoyed reading this! It was so touching and in places really sad. I will just point out this line "I don’t can’t just your heart" I don't know if you meant it to be laid out like that, but to me it doesn't really make sense, I think it means that i cant have your heart? But I'm not really sure. Please don't think I am being picky, I was just a bit confused. I really enjoyed this it was lovely.
Love should be a storm.
"I used to believe that love should
feel like a storm, passionate,
raw and raging."
It is sad we accept us. When the passion go away. What is left? Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote
You are so romantic... "I want your flesh, your skin,
and blood, and bones, your voice, your thoughts, your pulse, and most of all, your fingertips, everywhere, i used to believe that love should feel like a storm". I believe in love after love, unwaveringly
Alternative, shy, loves music.
I typically keep to myself, and am not very expressive.
But when I write, it's like I'm some place else.
I've been gone for a while, and I'm working on getting back.. more..