What I Want, But Can't Have

What I Want, But Can't Have

A Poem by Wonderland Asylum
"

This is something very personal to me, as is all of my poems. This poem in particular I wrote about a year ago, when I had a bad break up

"

Touch me with your hand, my dear,

Pull me close , against your chest.

Hold me in your arms, my dear,

Your heart beat, giving me rest.

Let my hands, my dear, caress your skin,

Feeling your warmth, my dear,

The warmth within.

Let me lie curled, my dear,

Your back, touching mine.

I don’t can’t just your heart.

I want your flesh, your skin,

and blood, and bones, your voice,

your thoughts, your pulse, and most

Of all, your fingertips, everywhere.

I used to believe that love should

feel like a storm, passionate,

raw and raging.  But so many storms

have come and left her more broken

than before.  Now, she looks for a

Love that feels like the night after

the storm is over.

Or else she may be whisked away,

by the distant memory of what she lost.

© 2017 Wonderland Asylum


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Featured Review

I used to believe that love should
feel like a storm, passionate,
raw and raging. But so many storms
have come and left her more broken
than before.

Such strong words here, i could see this as the base of your poem and you built up around it, awesome write

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Line 10 doesn't make sense to me: "I don’t can’t just your heart." Maybe there's a typo?

Your poem is well written to express the longing one might feel, with good use of specifics, remembering times that used to be. I wonder why the first 2/3 of this poem is first person ("I") and the last bit is third person ("she")? Also I prefer love poems that are deeper than just the physical union. You've done a good job of showing how the physical longing manifests, but I'd also like to see more of this "other person" in terms of personality. (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 6 Years Ago


I really like the lines of this. It has a deep meaning, and an okay rhyme.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

There is so much beauty in this creation. I love the way you express in your writings.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is such a pretty poem! It's written in a way that isn't cheesy or frivolous, and it's quite powerful! One quick correction: I think "I just can't don't your heart," should be "I just don't want your heart?"

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is so beautiful. The subtle rhyme and the format of it is lovely. You are art :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I used to believe that love should
feel like a storm, passionate,
raw and raging. But so many storms
have come and left her more broken
than before.

Such strong words here, i could see this as the base of your poem and you built up around it, awesome write

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Rye
I used to believe that love should
feel like a storm, passionate,
raw and raging

I loved this part, felt powerful,
this is so good, it felt intense.
Awesome write

Posted 6 Years Ago


Wonderland Asylum

6 Years Ago

Thank-you so much!
This was such a lovely poem! Very well written and beautifully laid out. I really enjoyed reading this! It was so touching and in places really sad. I will just point out this line "I don’t can’t just your heart" I don't know if you meant it to be laid out like that, but to me it doesn't really make sense, I think it means that i cant have your heart? But I'm not really sure. Please don't think I am being picky, I was just a bit confused. I really enjoyed this it was lovely.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Love should be a storm.
"I used to believe that love should
feel like a storm, passionate,
raw and raging."
It is sad we accept us. When the passion go away. What is left? Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You are so romantic... "I want your flesh, your skin,
and blood, and bones, your voice, your thoughts, your pulse, and most of all, your fingertips, everywhere, i used to believe that love should feel like a storm". I believe in love after love, unwaveringly

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 3, 2017
Last Updated on November 3, 2017

Author

Wonderland Asylum
Wonderland Asylum

Reedley, CA



About
Alternative, shy, loves music. I typically keep to myself, and am not very expressive. But when I write, it's like I'm some place else. I've been gone for a while, and I'm working on getting back.. more..

Writing

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