Hello Sunshine

I don't really know what to put here..

     There's comes a time in everyone's life when cannot understand the meaning of themselves.

"Can we live without death? Can we love without hate? Can we want without need? Do we ever really live enough to appreciate that we can never truly grasp one without the other? That a concept has no meaning without an opposing force. If hate is what's inside us. And hate it what defines us. Then we will use our hate to drive us. And let death not deprive us. Do we want this or do we need this? You can always rinse the surface but the stain will remain."

Everyday a smile is painted over a frown, make up covering black eyes and sleepless nights of tears. An ugly clown she's called, "I'm human, as are you, behind the paint we're no different. You should open your mind before your mouth." Walking out the door standing in fields of nothingness she screams with Chris in her mind, "We are the damned the cursed and the broken! There's so much more inside us. We are the lost the sick and unspoken, there's so much more inside us..." Skipping school to go to this field for here the girl can't be called a freak or emo. Here she can clear her mind leaving the deepest thought pushed to the bottom never to be thought of once more. She lives them over suffering to much, she finds the door to finally overcome the memories. But there are still things that can not be forgotten, things that stick with her everyday, the things stain her pillow with eyeliner and tears more and more every night. As a child she was always told to be herself and she would find friends who loved the real her, they lied. She was teased for years to come about the slightest thing, she had enough in her first year of middle school. She had a boyfriend who hit her and harassed her but he told her he loved her so she stayed with him, she thought he meant it. The girl got in a fight, then she got jumped, later that week she was going to jump a girl, she needed money and would do just about anything that is until she got the cops called on her. Everything changed for the girl after that, fights were after school, when she was alone, she was always alone. People became scared of this girl, they knew she was a boxer, they knew she could the s**t out of them. They started calling her names again. The tried to drown her sorrow but her sorrow was drowning her in her ocean of tears. The next year came and she had 4 friends 3 were guys, guys didn't carry drama with them that's why the girl got close to them, too close. 2 tried to get with her, she wouldn't, there was too much going on, she was too fucked up in the head, anything someone said she thought was true. She made another girl friend, that didn't last about two weeks. Once again the girl was left without any friends. She walked around campus with her hood covering her eyes and her headphones on high, she started failing classes, they talked about transfering but it didn't make a difference. Everybody's the same, they all have their beautiful faces without a mark just a glare, the same perfect bodies without any gory scars. Mostly they all have the same mouths with as much hate as another. She got called a w***e so she didn't talk for months and always wore a jacket. She was called ugly so she wore more makeup. She got called a lesbian for shaving her head so she turned around she said, "I shaved my head for cancer! If you don't have anything nice to say...."

The girl wasn't seen at school for days then weeks nobody cared...then the school found her, dead in a ditch.

Author's Note

was in a depressing mood, so I listened to MIW...didn't help

Reviews

[gombeggar]

good work...needs a re-write for small things, but well done

[Lexi]

omg I was crying as I read this, it is really good I could sooo relate to the girl in the story. I love it! :)

[ℰmerald ⚓]

thanks...i can relate too.

[Lexi]

your welcome