The Final Time

regretting your past

It was me all along.
Forgive me for my wrongs.
If you show me what's right,
I won't make this mistake again.

It doesn't matter what you say,
It's not okay...
I screwed this one up,
It was all my fault.

I couldn't control it..
I take full responsibility,
I take all the guilt,
I almost took my life...

Sorry didn't cut it,
I don't know why I did that.
You weren't much better...
This is how we prove,
It was just another love story.

Author's Note

couldn't be more perfect the word I have to type to prove my humanity was "sinner"...
Inspiration: my mistakes and choices that i've made

Reviews

[CecilA]

Emerald,

This poem of yours speaks loudly to all of us. At some level, we've all been wrrong. But it takes a mature person to admit wrong, express regret and resolve to amend their life. Nice job.

I especially like the line: "If you show me what's right, I won't make this mistake again." So often people are willing to point out someone else's wrong doing but not show them what's right. This is great writing.

Also, I like the line: "This is how we prove, It was just another love story." It is important that love be part of the formula for confession, acceptance and forgiveness. Without love, it's all pretense. I love your sensitivity of purpose.

Great presentation of a great poem.

Thank you for sharing your poem with us.

[ℰmerald ⚓]

Thank you very much.

[quinfinn]

people are capable of such beauty and then.....there's the other side of the equation. i love a good love poem, this is certainly one, but it is wrought with apology and regret...not something often done in words, much less in real life. awesome piece of writing here...

[ℰmerald ⚓]

Thank you very much!

[Dr. Wood ?]

sadly beautiful in its simplicity and truth

[ℰmerald ⚓]

Thank you Mr.Wood :)

[CreativeStroke]

This was well-written and full of deep emotion. I thought you portrayed your feelings well and I could really sense your remorse as I was reading. Well done!

[ℰmerald ⚓]

Thank you for the review. :)

[CreativeStroke]

You're welcome

[KAOlmsted]

I have a hard time taking seriously any 13 year old, simply because I was once 13 and know how profoundly wrong I was *laugh* But this is a very touching piece and I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work.

-kimmer

[ℰmerald ⚓]

Thank you.

[KAOlmsted]

My absolute pleasure.

[Tex]

I loved this write. you got a chuckle out of me in your last stanza. I love surprises and didn't see it coming.

very well done

[ℰmerald ⚓]

thank you, we both had our wrongs in the relationship, but they made it seem like I was the only who made mistakes..

[Tex]

yeah some people just have to believe they do no wrong... best not to be in a relationship with that type...

[ℰmerald ⚓]

I figured out the hard way

[Tex]

;-)

[Felicity's Eve]

This is a poem that is relatable to everyone on some level or another. I can feel the guilt and passion you have so wonderfully portrayed here.
I also find it brave, when I read your inspiration. :)
Incredibly, wonderfully, amazing.
Keep up the fantastic work!

[ℰmerald ⚓]

Thank you very much!

[Felicity's Eve]

:)

[Richard Man]

Love and justice are both blind for different reasons. In a relationship there is never a guilty party only two who have made an error.
Don't beat yourself up .. but I feel you got the message in the end.

[ℰmerald ⚓]

Thank you for your review and advice.

[Geon Quuin]

This piece is not that great but it's not awful either. It's obvious from the first two stanzas that you want to do some rhyming scheme, but you just gave up halfway through. You either stick with it or abandon rhyming altogether. You should avoid using ellipsis. It's distracting and serves no purpose at all.

[Khloevhr]

I do like this piece. When it does come to your intentions to rhyme, can inform you I also sometimes cannot find the right words... I have actually uploaded a poem that I will improve upon... I belive this is a wonderful poem. If you as a poet decide whether you want to rhyme or not, play around with your thoughts and words....many times you may find words that kinda rhyme that are not spelled similar like : mind, and time.... That is kinda how I think about rhyming.. I myself can come up with rhymes rather quickly and can freestyle easily...but it is when I am overly energetic. I think during times I am calm I have more difficulty with rhymin in my poetry... Kinda odd, if you ask me...but I think my manic eposides bring on creativity...It is a gift... I love this piece and would like to share it on Facebook with friends.. I will look forward to reading it again and will put it in my library.

[ℰmerald ⚓]

you can share it just add credit to me...thanks guys my stuff isn't that great I don't have a lot of experience I just started last year and I'm only 13..

[Khloevhr]

Oh, I do believe this is great...wow you are only 13 I am quite surprised. And yes I will give credit to you I will share the link. I am almost 33 and I know I have many errors, and my rhythm is not always that great be proud of your work. I think you did a good job. I think you will continue to improve especially with the fact that you began writing at such a young age. Great job!

[ℰmerald ⚓]

Thank you. And to the original review, I wasn't trying to rhyme at all.

[Janice Fronek(red.panda..]

I like this piece :) It's wonderful :)

[ℰmerald ⚓]

thank you, I keep trying to forget my past (this time of my life(in poem)) but it sadly keeps coming back in poetry..