�All day long, they lie in the sun, and when the sun goes down, they lie some more.� ~Frank Sinatra

Sam is tired of her life and when she finds out her husband's secret, she's had enough!

 

I wasn’t sure at what point I felt life had passed me by. The only thing I could come up with was it must have happened while I was sleeping. It felt like I had gone from an eighteen year old girl to a thirty year old woman in what seemed like 3.5 seconds. That had to be some kind of a world record! I tried not to think of the logistics of my life, only concentrating on the day to day monotony of work and home. I had married Jackson Abernathy after my first year of college. Everyone knew Jack, or Wildman Jack as his frat brothers had called him, and most girls would have killed to be Mrs. Abernathy. I thought I was lucky that Jack had chosen me and that we would be in love forever. He was the first and only man I had ever slept with, and I am pretty sure that was my first mistake. Not that I believed in having wild sex with multiple partners but maybe a little more experience would have kept me from jumping into something that was bigger than both of us. I tried not to dwell on my life because it was too depressing. Maybe I needed therapy or a support group for thirty year olds already going through their mid-life crisis. I could see it now. Me, standing in front of a group of woman saying ‘Hi, I’m Samantha Abernathy, my friends call me Sam. I’m 30 and my life is over’ and they would all reply, ‘Hi Sam’. I couldn’t help but smile at how stupid I felt was being. Still, thinking about it caused a tinge of sadness. How did it get like this? I worked, came home, cooked, and cleaned and tried to make our home happy. It just never seemed to be enough for Jack. He was rarely home because he traveled a lot for his job. I gave up on that fight a long time ago. Another fight I had given up on was children. I had yearned for a child but the more Jack was gone, the more relieved I was that we never had children. I thought I was pregnant early in our relationship and it didn’t go over well with him. He felt it was too soon and we were not stable enough to have a child. I knew he was right but still I cried when my period came that month. Jack never knew that it had hurt me that deeply, but it didn’t matter because he was right, it would have been a disaster.

I just never thought that my life would be like this. I had so many hopes and dreams when I was younger. Now I felt that I was just ghosting through my life waiting to die. Sex was practically nonexistent and when it did happen, it was quick. There was no passion or emotion, just the need to do it and get it over with. I couldn’t blame him. My body wasn’t young and tight any more. I wasn’t overweight but I didn’t exactly hit the gym either. Really, what was the point? Would he even notice? Not likely. My face still looked young but my eyes told a different story. Plastic surgery had crossed my mind but there is no way Jack would allow it. Anyway, it would be a waste of money because it wouldn’t make me feel any better about myself. Only my presence was required in this life, nothing more…nothing less.

I had no idea how to fix my life and at this point, I was so numb, I didn’t know if I really wanted to. My friends at work insisted that I just needed a girl’s night out. They were all ypung and single, and it was fine for them, but for me, it just reminded me of how lonely and unattractive I felt. I knew that I needed to feel alive again but I just didn’t know how to make it happen. I had tried wearing what I would call “flavorful” lingerie to bed when Jack was home but it never seemed to peak his interest. It didn’t take me long to learn that trying to instigate anything romantic was a mistake and a little degrading because he usually rejected me. He just wasn’t having it unless he wanted it. So for me, forget taking one day at a time, I was just trying to get through one hour at a time. To say I was frustrated would be a gross understatement!

I think the one thing that really kept me going, was the once a month lunches with my two best friends, Katie and Anna. Katie’s husband Mike worked with my husband Jack so it was nice when Jack’s company had a function because I knew Katie would be there. I couldn’t imagine what life would be like without Katie and Anna. When I was with them, I could laugh and be myself. I could talk about things and be heard. I never had to worry about Katie or her husband telling Jack anything. Jack was the vice president of Mecca, Inc., which was a software company that specialized in billing software for major hospitals. Mike was a software developer who did most of the beta testing for the new products Mecca, Inc., developed. Mike didn’t care for Jack and thought he was a pompous a*s. My friends knew everything about me and my precarious situation. They didn’t understand why I was still with my ‘loser of a husband’ as Anna so eloquently put it. I was beginning to wonder that same thing myself. But, I had made a vow, ‘until death do us part’. The later part was sounding pretty good at this point; however, I knew that wasn’t the answer. Besides, I knew that Katie and Anna would bring me back just to kill me all over again!

I had been excited all week because Saturday was our lunch date. Jack was gone again, no big surprise, and when Saturday came around, I felt like I was on top of the world. I had woken up early that morning and even though I tried hard to stay in bed, I knew I couldn’t. I knew that I had to do some laundry and pay a few bills before I got ready for my lunch date. “Ugh!” I complained aloud as I kicked the comforter trying to untangle my legs from the sheets. My feet hit the floor and I made my way to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. On the counter there was a picture of me and Jack at the company barbecue. He was laughing and I was sitting there like a knot on a log. I hated this picture because anyone could look at me and read how I felt, miserable. “Hmph,” I winced as I lay the picture face down on the counter.

The bittersweet aroma of the coffee brewing awakened my senses. I loved the smell of coffee in the morning. There was something comforting about it. I poured a cup and added my usual flavored Hazelnut creamer and sugar to make it just the way I liked it. I made my way over to the kitchen counter where the bills were laid out for me to pay. Jack had pretty much insisted on no credit cards except the one card he kept for company expenses. Our bills were fairly simple. There was the house, both cars, insurance, and the utilities. I was happy that my car was nearly paid off. I normally didn’t reconcile the credit card statement leaving that job to Lydia, Jack’s secretary. All I did was open it, pull out the junk, and put it in a folder for him to take to work.

I dug the checkbook out of my purse and grabbed the bills off of the counter. I sat down at the kitchen table taking another sip of my coffee before I began. “Alright, what do we have here?” I asked myself out loud as I focused on the envelopes. “Mortgage, electric, my car, bank statement, and the credit card,” I said as I put the bills on the table and began tearing open the credit card statement. I unfolded everything as I took all the junk advertisements out. I was getting ready to put it to the side when something caught my eye. I pulled the statement closer to read one of the line items. “British Colonial Hilton, Nassau Bahamas? That has to be a mistake.” I mumbled. I looked at the date and then backup to the three month travel calendar on the wall. “He was in Tampa that week.” I looked back down at the bill. There were expensive dinners and purchases all made within the time frame that Jack was supposed to be in Tampa, but there were no Tampa charges. I looked out the kitchen window for a minute and a thought crossed my mind. Could Jack be cheating on me? I chuckled at the thought. That was just ridiculous I thought to myself and then my smile faded as I looked down at the bank statement. A slow panic began to rise in my stomach as my hands began to shake.

Dropping the credit card statement, I frantically grabbed the bank statement and tore it open. My eyes frantically searched for the dates in question. There was nothing that matched the Nassau dates but, a day before Jack’s supposed Tampa trip, he had withdrawn fifteen hundred dollars from our account. I felt the heat of the tears that started to sting my eyes as I sat there staring at the black and white paper feeling the rage build up in my body. I felt betrayed and angry. All these years I had lived this half-life of loneliness, always wanting and yearning for love and passion. “How could he do this to me?” I growled as I thought of all the years of my faithful devotion, ignoring my own needs and desires, trying to make this a happy home. How could he embarrass me and disgrace me like this?

Tears started to trickle down my cheeks when the realization hit me. What if he was cheating on me and wanted a divorce? I didn’t really love him anymore, but I was afraid to be without him. Would it be that bad? I didn’t know how to go about being on my own again; but truthfully, I had been doing it all this time already. Jack was never here, so it isn’t like I would be missing any companionship. I think it was just the death of the actual marriage and everything it represented or everything it could have been. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions. I looked back down at the credit card statement and realized there was no mistake in what I saw. Jack was due back tomorrow night and I would have to confront him. Either way, he lied.

A sense of dignity came over me that instantly dried my tears. I realized that I really wasn’t that upset. What does that mean? I wondered to myself as I gently wiped a lingering tear off my cheek. I was more shocked and hurt than anything. Really, the marriage was over years ago, I was just afraid to admit it. Even if he wasn’t cheating, it was time to throw in the towel. I would be surprised if he fought me, then again, he was always concerned about his image. All the senior executives of the company were married, and I was sure that some of their wives were in the same predicament as I . I had also heard a few rumors that some of the wives had an “arraignment” with their husbands. Kind of a “don’t ask, don’t tell” type of deal. I couldn’t live like that, but I couldn’t live like this either. Jack would probably be relieved. Maybe, it didn’t matter what Jack felt. This was just as much about me as it was him. I had lived too much of my life trying to please him in this one-sided relationship. I was tired, lonely, and over it.

Everything was now becoming crystal clear. I was going to be prepared. I was entitled to half, right? I was going to confront him and then leave, either way, I’d had enough. He could have his divorce and I would give him the house too, I was not going to fight, but I’ll be damn if he was going to see me crawl. I grabbed for the envelope that was my car payment and opened it. “This is just the beginning.” I smiled as I picked up and began dialing the number for customer service. After a series of prompts, I got a live person. “Yes, I would like to pay off my car please.” Once I was done with that phone call, I felt better already. I began dancing around my kitchen like I had won the lottery. I glanced at the clock and realized I needed to get moving. I quickly ran to get into the shower. I had a lot to do today and I needed to get to the bank before lunch with the girls at 11:30.

The water felt heavenly as it poured over me. All my stress melted off my body in its warmth and I couldn’t help just standing in the stream of water after I was finished washing my body and hair. My mind started drifting to what I was going to wear as I rolled my neck around under the stream of warm water. I glanced over at my razor. I probably needed to shave if I was going to wear that red sundress I had decided on. After I finished, I jumped out of the shower and began getting ready.

I had managed to dress, do my hair and make-up in less than an hour and was out the door by 9:30. I went straight to our bank and withdrew half of our savings which was about $25,000. I decided to leave the CD’s and investment accounts alone. Jack did make the most money and I wanted to be fair. Most women would disagree with my thought process but, at this point, I just wanted out.

I went across town to a bank near my work and opened a new account in my name only making a mental note to change my direct deposit on Monday. I still felt a little guilty but, it was my money too. I had worked hard and besides, he would probably just spend it on the stupid bimbo he was sleeping with. For a moment, I wondered if I was doing the right thing. Maybe it was all a misunderstanding. I knew that I was unhappy but I still left the bank feeling a little underhanded. I sat in my car for a moment and thought about what I had done so far. There was really no turning back now. I pulled the visor down to look at myself in the mirror. I put a little powder on my nose and reapplied my lipstick. My eyes still looked tired. I pulled my sunglasses off the top of my head and put them back over my eyes sliding them up on the bridge of my nose.

I looked at the time and realized that I only had twenty minutes to get to the restaurant for lunch. I took a deep breath and started my car. As I drove, I decided I wouldn’t bring up the whole Jack issue right away. I would enjoy my lunch with Katie and Anna first and then bring it up later. I knew once I brought it up, that would be all we would talk about.

I hurried to the restaurant across town feeling a little excited about some female bonding time and a little nervous at sharing my speculations with them. After lunch, I was going apartment hunting. I knew I wouldn’t be able to secure anything today so I would have to stay in a hotel after tomorrow. Tonight, I would have some major packing to do. I wanted everything in the car by the time Jack came home. I shivered as I thought of what was going to happen. It wouldn’t be pretty, that’s for sure.

I knew that Katie and Anna would support my decision to leave. Neither of them would put up with me staying if Jack had in fact cheated. I thought about Katie and Mike. They seemed to have the perfect relationship. Of course they were not without their problems, but they were a very loving and affectionate couple. They lived in the suburbs with their two children. They had started dating in college and married not long after they graduated. Anna, on the other hand, dated but insisted that she wasn’t ready to settle down. She said she loved her freedom too much. I used to worry about her being alone and always hoped she would find someone but over time, I changed my point of view.

I parked my car in front of the restaurant and took a deep breath as I shut off the ignition and put my keys in my purse. “Time for the poker face,” I signed as I stepped out of my car and walked to the front doors of the restaurant. Pulling open the door, I spotted Anna right away. Her beautiful long blonde hair and her bright blue eyes looked like a ray of sunshine. I immediately started smiling as I greeted her with a hug.

“Hey kiddo!” Anna exclaimed as she hugged me tightly.

“Hey Anna! How are you?” I beamed as I saw Katie coming toward us.

“Great! Business is booming!” Anna smiled as she let me go. Anna did modeling for some of the local department stores and some of the independent markets. She was a few years younger than Katie and me but she still looked like she did when she was 18. That’s how Katie and Anna met. Katie was in photography and Anna had been brought to Katie’s class as a model. The two hit it off instantly.

“How are you doing sweetie?” Katie asked as she hugged me. Katie and I had been friends since high school. She was short with hazel eyes and shoulder length dark hair.

“I’m good.” I replied. If I didn’t know better, I would swear there was a hint of sadness in her voice. “Mike and the kids ok?” I asked

“Everyone is great,” Katie answered as she smiled at me. It wasn’t a normal smile. This was a smile that you gave when asked how someone was after the death of their loved one. Something was up. I suddenly became very concerned that my friend was having trouble.

“Ok, what’s…?”

“I have your table ready,” the hostess interrupted. We all turned and followed the hostess to our table.

Once seated, I turned to Katie. “What’s going on?” I asked. “You don’t seem right.”

“I’m fine silly.” Katie said and then there was that smile again.

“Bullshit.” I exclaimed as I watched Katie and Anna pass an all too knowing look to each other. “Something is going on.”

“Let’s order and then we can all talk.” Anna stated as she picked up her menu. “I think I’ll have the grilled Salmon.” She said nonchalantly.

“That does sound good.” Katie stated as I sat there staring at the two of them in disbelief.

“Ok,” I huffed as I rolled my eyes and glanced over the menu. I wasn’t very hungry but decided I needed to order something. I settled on the potato soup.

Once the waitress took our orders, I couldn’t help but notice Katie and Anna looking at each other again as Anna pursed her lips. Then, they both looked at me but neither of them said anything.

“Ok, that’s it. Somebody better start talking. Something is going on. Spill!” I demanded as I snatched my napkin off the table and put it in my lap.

Ok…ok...” Anna said trying to calm me down. “Katie,” she paused looking at our friend, “Tell her.” Anna said and she nodded her head toward me. My attention went from Anna to Katie.

“Well,” Katie began, “I don’t quite know how to say this.”

“Just say it,” I said as Katie and Anna looked at each other again. This was starting to piss me off. I wanted to hear it, straight forward with no candy coating. My tolerance level had already reached its peak and I was getting a headache.

“Mike was demonstrating a new product to a community hospital just outside of town.” Katie began.

“And…” I said as I was motioning for her to continue with one hand as I squeezed the bridge of my nose with the other hand. I tightly closed my eyes for a brief moment and I let out a heavy sigh. Why wasn't Katie talking? I opened my eyes to look at her.

“Well,” Katie paused looking at Anna again who nodded for her to continue. “Mike saw Jack when he stopped at a restaurant for lunch.” My heart dropped at the mention of Jack’s name. “He wasn’t alone. Jack was...with…someone.”

Panic came over me. This isn’t happening. “And?” I asked looking down at the tablecloth, afraid of what was next. I glanced back at Katie and her pained facial expression told me my fear was correct.

“He was sitting in a back booth and Mike started to go over and say hello. When Mike got a little closer, he saw Jack with his arm around a woman in the booth. He was kissing her on the neck. Mike didn’t say a word and left. He was pretty sure Jack didn’t see him.” Katie looked down.

“Sam, we’re here for you. You know that right?” Anna asked.

“What did she look like? Is it anyone I know?” I asked calmly looking back at Katie feeling my jaw clinch together.

“I don’t want you doing anything crazy.” Katie said

“Just answer the question.” I said as I Katie’s face winced

“It was…Lydia.” You could have heard a pin drop once Katie said her name. I felt the room spinning as I kept replaying the name in my mind. How many times had I come home from work to find Lydia leaving our house? More than I cared to remember. She always greeted me with a smile and offered small talk. She always claimed that she had papers for Jack to sign or something that needed to be dropped off at Jack’s request. Lydia had been working as my husband’s assistant for over a year. I felt sick. This wasn’t something that just happened; this had been going on, right under my nose, in my own house. I felt enraged. My ears were ringing as my heart was pounding and the anger grew.

“Sam?” Anna asked as she reached out to touch my hand. Her fingers felt warm and relaxing on my cold skin.

“When?” I asked. “When did Mike see them?”

“This past Thursday,” Katie answered.

“I see.” I muttered. Jack had left for his business trip Thursday.

“Mike said Lydia called out Thursday and Friday. Sam, I am so sorry.” Katie said as I looked up at her.

“I actually figured it out this morning.” I said matter-of-factly. “I was going to tell you both today at lunch. I opened Jack’s business credit card statement and saw charges at the British Colonial Hilton in Nassau, Bahamas. The dates were during the same time Jack was supposedly in Tampa. He also made a good sized withdrawal from our account the day before he left.” I smiled half heartedly, as I looked at them. Then I remembered my plan and what I had done already. Suddenly, whatever guilt I had felt was gone.

“We never thought Jack would do this.” Anna said as she withdrew her hand.

“Yeah, Mike and I were shocked too.” Katie chimed in. “What are you going to do?”

I couldn’t help but grin. Katie and Anna looked at each other in shock. “I have a plan.” I said and I began to tell them what I had done and what I was going to do over the next twenty-four hours.

“Why don’t you stay with me?” Anna asked as our food arrived.

“I don’t want to inconvenience anyone.” I stated.

“Don’t be silly! I have that big two story condo with plenty of room! I insist!” Anna smiled. I knew she would not take no for an answer and I had to admit that it would be nice to not be alone.

“You could stay with me and Mike.” Katie offered.

“There is no way I would put you and Mike in the middle of this, but thanks anyway.” I turned to Anna and smiled. “I guess you have a new roommate!”

“I’m so excited!” Anna exclaimed. ”I’ll have everything ready for you and," she paused as he opened her purse," I just so happen to have a spare key!” Anna beamed as she slid the key across the table toward me.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Katie asked with concern in her voice.

“You know, I’m actually ok.” I smiled and for the first time I realized, there's life after Jack.

Author's Note

I hope you like it! I got the idea while I was in San Diego while I was writing my other book. I hope you all enjoy! Oh, and this isn't the end. Wait until you see what happens next...

Reviews

[Kerwin]

Wow...nice job. Are you good or what? LOL

[Voice]

Wow great as always sorry it took me so long but I love it :) you are an amazing writer!!!!

[Charles D. Moorer]

This is some of your best work yet. I like the flow and the character. I have suggested some changes which I have sent to your yahoo account. Is this story finished. Does she confront Jack? I had the feeling that based on the last few lines, the story was finished and we (the readers) were left to supply our own ending. Either way, it is a good story and well written.