This is very sweet - and I agree with Jim there, that must have been an amazing kiss!! I'm glad that the first one was so wonderful and memorable for you, that it was worth expressing in poetry.
And I, too, normally am a nitpicker about meter, rhyme, etc. But I like the simplicity and sweetness of this poem. It really seems to capture the essence of the feelings in that moment. Therefore, I think you should keep it just as it is.
Great job, and I would love to read more of your poetry, when you publish it here.
Wow, that must have been some kiss! It's such a shame there can only be one first kiss. We try to recreate that first one every time, and although we can have very joyous, beautiful subsequent kisses, that first one can never be duplicated. You've done a beautiful job of telling its tale.
I would normally whine about meter and stuff. But not on this piece. Well, I guess sometimes I DO love simple, unaltered poems written from the heart. Great job and well done. Keep writing.
This poem is very deep and romantic... I could feel the strong and passionate love you have for that person, and you poured it out very intelligently.
Good write.
It is so wonderful when people find love. Your poem is great! Its reflection on a first kiss, the magic first kiss, is well worded. I hope for all of us, we find forever love that goes hand in hand with the romances we first feel. The kind of love that deepens.
I love the feeling of amazenment that comes when you first fall in love with someone. THat complete overwhelming feeling that floods all of your senses and leaves you addicted to that person's every move. The feeling of anxiety and anticipation for every touch and whisper.
I definitely enjoyed reliving that feeling.
I'm glad that you were as fortunate to experience this unconditional feeling and that you had the words to speak to describe it.
Hey, I'm Emma, 18 years old ♥♥♥
I'm just like any other teen girl.. I love to write, and hang out with my friends
And I have a huge Foot Fetish lol ♥♥♥
bu.. more..