Two different girls.
The same conflict.
Two different outcomes.
Cassie’s conflict:
Cassie was only 11 years old when her mother died. She was an only child and the way her father dealt with his grief was by drinking. When Cassie’s father drank he got abusive and assaulted Cassie multiple times. Cassie was so scared and after a few times of it happening she ran away from home. After being gone for a few days, Cassie returned home. She was tired and hungry and really frightened over how her father would react. Luckily she managed to sneak in, get some food from the kitchen and head upstairs as her father was passed out on the couch. The next morning she came downstairs to find her angry father, drunk and threatening her in the kitchen. He punch her and slammed her into a wall and then sent her off to school, telling her next time she did something so stupid again he would kill her. With the threat ringing in her ears, Cassie ran to school, crying all the way there and locking herself in the bathroom. When of her friends had seen her come into school. She had known about the abuse and had kept her mouth shut to avoid causing any further pain to be inflicted on her friend. After seeing Cassie run past, bawling her eyes out with nasty bruises showing everywhere and a big black eye forming, she’d had enough. Cassie’s friend went to the principal who got the school counsellor to coax Cassie out of the cubicle and into her office, where the extent of the damage was finally seen and an ambulance came and took Cassie to hospital. The principal called in the police who arrested Cassie’s father on child abuse charges and he was later jailed. Cassie after recovering in hospital was sent to a wonderful foster family. She was loved and cared for and met frequently with her psychologist. Cassie grew up happy and smiling. She graduated high school and went on to study law at university, graduating from there with flying colours. She now has her own family who she loves dearly and cares for. She has never forgotten the pain of her mother’s death or her father’s abuse, but rather she learned from it and got help and now is living, happily ever after.
Kelly’s conflict:
Kelly was only 11 years old when her mother died. She was
an only child and the way her father dealt with his grief was to drink. When
Kelly’s father drank he got abusive and assaulted Kelly multiplies times. She
was old enough to understand that what was happening was wrong and that there
was ways in which she could get help but she didn’t. She stayed with her father
and the abuse continued into her teen years. She would cover the black eyes
with tons of make-up and wear long sleeves and pants to cover the bruises and
scars for school. The school counsellor, time after time offered to help Kelly,
but she refused always saying that she was fine and smiling sweetly. By the
time Kelly was 15, she would go out late at night and not return until late the
next morning. She was drinking and smoking and doing all kinds of risky stuff. Her
so-called friends got her onto drugs and her father didn’t even care. After
winding up pregnant after a night out, Kelly had a risky abortion in a backyard
clinic. The pain she felt after doing this was more then she felt in her entire
life. At that point in time, all the grief she felt for her mother’s passing
and her father’s abuse came crashing down and she fell into a deep depression
and developed anorexia. She starved herself and wore baggy clothes and no one noticed.
The years of telling everyone she was fine had caught up with her and now she
regretted it. She really needed someone to come and help her out to tell her
what she needed to do and help her, but no one did. Finally when Kelly was 17,
she committed suicide in her bedroom by overdosing on pills her “friends” had
given her.
I'm curious as to what the reaction to this will be. My english teacher set us this topic: The way that conflict is resolved determines whether we can heal and move forward. This is my response :)
My Review
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Ah, oh gosh, the first one is so... Triggering.
Regardless, I did like both stories quite well. A couple grammar and spelling errors here and there, but nothing major. The biggest would probably be the misuse of the word "balling" in the second story. It should be "Bawling" not "balling." Just saying. Great job..
I thought it was well done. Other than the few spelling and grammar errors I thought it was good. I would consider putting Kelly's conflict before Cassie's. That is only a suggestion to give off the happily ever after effect.
In Kellys Conflict you said "multiplies" instead of "Multiple" in the second sentence. For more of a stronger after effect I'd suggest plasing Cassies Conflict before Kellys Conflict to really pack that punch that should be deliverd near the end of a piece like this. Great piece, creative way of expressing your point!
This is very moving. I like the comparison, how the results are very drasticly different even though the stories started the same. It's also a bit personal to me, because of a friend I've got who seems to be heading down the path Kelly took, and I keep trying to help her be more like Cassie, essentially. I shared this with her, and I think it made a big impact on her as well. It is a very compelling and well-written piece. Thank you.
Ah, oh gosh, the first one is so... Triggering.
Regardless, I did like both stories quite well. A couple grammar and spelling errors here and there, but nothing major. The biggest would probably be the misuse of the word "balling" in the second story. It should be "Bawling" not "balling." Just saying. Great job..
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