Inside a Lucid Dream

Where my soul visits.

 

 

I think I’m loosing my mind

As I close my eyes I’ve disappeared

To a deep African Jungle

Where everything moves in a lucid

...S-l-o-w...m-o-t-i-o-n

Half way between a dream and reality

 

The noise of the jungle and ancient tribal drums

Beats to the sound of my heart

And it’s dark as night and as clear as day

The moon like a paper lantern above me

And the stars brighter than Hollywood neon lights

 

I step through the humid jungle,

Following the sound of the drums

A steady pounding that is emitted from my mind

My tears fall like raindrops onto the jungle floor

 

It smells strongly of wild flowers and

Their perfume wraps itself around my neck

Slowly choking me to a ecstasy driven death

And as the tears stream down my face

I feel all the sadness drain from me through every pore

 

 

 

 

And then I’m falling

Hitting the meniscus of the water

Into the wide open lake with lilies

Decorating the surface

And I can still hear the drums

As I fall to the sandy lake floor with coral

Like a kitsch dance hall

Colours everything around me and the

Glamorous fish swim above me in

A symphony

And light bursts through and it’s daytime

And above the jungle canopy the early morning sky

Of pink and navy with towering cherry-blossom colour

Clouds radiates, along with fading gold stars

And a stream of light hits where I am at the bottom of the pool

Bubbles glittering upwards, dancing

To the sound of drums and nature’s orchestra

And then in an instance, I understand everything

And cherish everything

 

Suddenly

Cold grey England

Cold grey decaying England

And then

 I think I am dead

And I think maybe I am inside

And I don’t know who I am anymore

Perhaps I’m going mad instead

 

 

 

  

Reviews

[Mistral Bilgera]

Absolutely, wonderfully brilliant, Emily! This one i savored in S-L-O-W M-O-T-I-O-N... :)

a little observation: in your poem of creative patterns and animated scenes and lines, one can really tell that you are taking up an arts-related subject (it's film, isn't it?).

Your poetry's flow is naturally appealing because of the choice of words, the imagery, and lastly, it's irony in the end, when the persona returned to cold, gray England!

oh, did i say your poem is wonderful? haha :)

[Fran Marie]

What a dream so deeply expressed and very well penned~Great WritE!!~Fran Marie

[Adela Muresan]

What can I say, this is a beautiful poem but I think you should have stuck to one color alone.
You make the exotic dream seem very palpable, and I like the realistic way you chose to end it.

A.M.

[The Mad Prophet]

Very nicely done, and congrats on winning my contest. This is a nicely written piece I did enjoy reading. Obvious it's worth a climb on the Ladder of Light. Very well done.

Special note I should add again, I love dreams. I like the symbols of them, and even the chances I had to obtain Lucid Dreaming. I managed only three times, but I like those times. Very well done.

[Mintwhiskers]

great description it is sooo awesome

[obsidianxv]

Another favourite of mine. I really like the way you describe such a wonderful dreamy world and then finish by bringing us down to earth with a few short sharp lines about our real surroundings. Very effective , but what i like most is that even at the end when we see the cold light of day it leaves us with the desire to find this place all the more so.

[Emily Rose]

As usual, your imagery is aboslutely fantastic. The first part reminds me of Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness, except with a much lighter tone. You might want to have a few strong initial words in your lines, though: even though your imagery is great, it would be more powerful if you could cut out a few of those pesky little words like "and" and "of." The ending is also great - the sudden color change and different diction shocks the reader and really increases the contrast!

Oh yeah, and I think you mean you're "losing" your mind, two "o's" make the word "loose" which isn't quite the same thing. :-)

Great job as usual!

[Constance]

This is very lucid, descriptive, and absolutely alluring. I like the creative use of format and color to make the words pop. Very nice work.
Is England really that grey and decaying? LOL. Remind me not to go there. :-)

[R J Askew]

I enjoyed this very much...being stuck in grey England myself it was a charming splash of colour. I also like drums and rhythm...throw in a base guitar...push it along a bit and then the lead... Sorry, I am hijacking your drums! But drums are very, very evocative. And the exotic of Africa is far removed from grey Hertfordshire.

My last two dreams were of planes spiralling from the sky and of a severed head in the gutter (which I had to pick up and kiss!) NO colour in either dream and no drums! Sadly!

[bailish]

"Their perfume wraps itself around my neck
Slowly choking me to a ecstasy driven death"

This line jumped out at me. It has great imagery, but I don't understand how the smell of wild flowers leads to death.

"Perhaps I'm going mad instead"
This line didn't ring true to me. Does a truly mad person contemplate her madness? And if a person has enough clarity to contemplate, could she be mad?
No, I think a sane person must worry most when she stops contemplating, when she has no outlets. A writer only goes insane when she stops writing, never before.