Chapter 11

            It was lunch time. The time I had to tell him. I was sitting at a table way in the back of the cafeteria, in a corner. I just sat there staring at my food. Poking it with a fork. Some how that entertained me. That is until Andy came and sat by me.

           “What is with you today?” Andy asked as he sat across from me. “Nothing.” I said in a quick second, looking at him weird. “Yes there is. Don't think I didn't notice how you scooted away from me in Biology.” Andy said as he moved his tray away from him and crossed his arm on the table. “There is nothing wrong.” I said looking at him. “Ashtyn, I know you better than that. Something is getting to you.” He was onto me.

           “I just have mixed emotions about everything right now.” I said as I leaned on the table and folded my arms. “Like?” Andy said as he took a sip from his water bottle. “Everything. My life, family, friends, you.” I said as my voice grew a little louder. “You're on that time of the month, aren't you?” Andy said looking at me and laughing. “Wait, what? No. I mean, yes. I don't know! If it comes, it comes. If it leaves, it leaves. I cant control it. Look, I guess what I am trying to say is,” I said. Andy leaned in closer to me. I think he thinks that I am about to tell him I like him. I wish it was that easy to come out and say it. “I'm moving in two weeks.” I said as I looked down.

            The color drained from Andy's face as he leaned back on his chair. “What?” he said. “I know. I was suppose to leave in a month but my mom changed it. Andy, I'm so sorry.” I said. I was trying to explain everything to him, but he stopped me. “Ashtyn, just save it ok?” Andy said. He looked at me with hurt eyes. “What?” I said in a confused tone. “I don't want to hear it, alright?” Andy said as he looked the other way.

            “What don't you want to hear?” I asked in a loud voice. “This! About you moving! Do you not see that it kills me. Do you not see that-” Andy began to say. He couldn't get the words out. I could tell it was hard for him. “That what, Andrew?” I said as I looked deep into his eyes. “That I love you.”

            “You, you what?” I said dumbfounded. “I love you, Ashtyn. I love you.” Andy said as he took my hands and held them tight. I looked at him. My heart felt warm for a quick second. That is what I wanted to hear from him. If I only I could say it back. “I could say it all day, but you still wouldn't get it.” He said as he let go of my hands. “Yes I would, Andy. I totally get it.” I said as I looked deep into him.

            “If you get it, you wont move.” Andy said as he leaned in closer to me. “You'll stay.” “If it was only that easy, Andy.” I said as I looked up into his bright blue eyes. “I have to move. My mother is making me. I have no other choice.” I said, stating it perfectly clear. “You obviously think this is some type of game.” Andy said. “Andy, if I thought this was a stupid game, don't you think I wouldn't love you back!” I said yelling at him from across the table.

            Andy looked at me with his eyes full of joy. “You, you love me, too?” He said as he smiled a little. “Yes. I love you, too.” I said as I leaned back in my chair. “why didn't you tell me?” “Because, I didn't know how you truly felt for me. I didn't want to come out and say it, and you not love me back.” I said as I looked up at him. “But, apparently, it's not worth it anymore.”

           “Not worth it?” Andy said. “Yeah. There is no point in us loving each other. I mean, I'm leaving in two weeks. What are we gonna do? Date for two weeks and break up?” I said sitting up in my chair. “We can date when you move back.” Andy said. “Andy, I don't know if I am moving back. You know, what if I don't move back? What are the odds of us seeing each other again?” I said as a tear rolled down my cheek.

           I stood up and grabbed my back pack. I threw it over my back and moved my hair out from under it. I started to walk away but Andy grabbed me by the arm. “Wait, Ashtyn.” Andy said as he got up and turned me around. “What?” I said. Andy gently moved my hair behind me ear and leaned into kiss me, for the third time.

           I moved his hand from my face and shook my head. “Andy, don't.” He just looked at me. “Don't what? Love you?” “Yes. Look, maybe you should just like somebody else other than me.” “Ashtyn, I cant just like somebody else.” I put my hands around my neck and took off the necklace Andy had gave me for my birthday. I looked at it and my eyes began to produce waterfalls. I took Andy's hand and I opened it. I carefully put the necklace into his hand and closed it.

            I stood on the top of my feet and kissed Andy on the cheek. “Bye, Andy.” I said as I pushed his hand to his chest and began to walk out of the cafeteria. I was half way out of the cafeteria when I saw Andy run towards me. “Ashtyn!” I ran off out the door and hid behind the building. I sat there for twenty minutes. The whole time I could hear him calling me name. What have I done?

            It feels like I ripped my own heart out. I know I ripped his out. I scared him for life with my stupid self. But, I guess it is for the best. I know, once I move. I wont ever see him again. What good is it going to do if I love someone and I cant see them because I am half way around the world?