Emerald's Adventure

A simply story about a young girl with a sad past and a bright future full of adventure! This is a small excerpt from a story I'm currently writing. I'm new at this, so any advice is would be helpful!

Emerald again reached out with her mind just like Alex told her, and searched the area for others. She opened her mind slowly, cautiously, so as not to lose control to someone nearby. She stretched her mind as far as she could, and found no humans.  Emerald then made a cold camp. She pulled the blankets and furs from behind her saddle and laid them out under a tree. Emerald lay down and promptly went to sleep.

 

The next morning, just before dawn, Emerald sensed another human approaching her camp. She reached out with her mind and tried to penetrate his thoughts, but couldn’t. She did a quick search of the surrounding area and found no one else. She did discover that he hadn’t come upon her yet so she quietly got up and erased all marks of ever being there. The morning was cold, and she wrapped her cloak around herself. She told Thor to go a little ways away and wait for her. “Always wear dark clothing so that you can blend into your surroundings, and stand in the shadows when waiting for something or some one.” Emerald could practically hear Alex’s words.

As she waited she studied her surroundings, in case she had to stand and fight. She noted that the stream could be jumped over. There lay a cluster of rocks directly across from the stream, and Emerald made a mental note to stay away from them, as there might be snakes in there along with the likelihood of injury.

As the man drew near, she saw that he was a handsome man. Maybe even a knight. He was tall, over six feet, and had lots of dark hair and a beard. He too, wore the colors of the forest. He wore dark brown pants, with black leather boots to the knee. He had a dull, dark green tunic, with black gauntlets encasing his forearms and hands. This was topped off with a dark brown cloak around his broad shoulders.

He led his horse and was almost silent as he trod through the forest. His shoulders were slumped, and he looked like he was about to fall asleep on his feet. His horse was a warhorse like Thor, although not quite as dark.

Emerald saw that he was heavily armed, with a sword on one hip, a dagger on the other, a bow, a quiver full of arrows, and she guessed that he had at least one knife in his boot. She drew her longer knife and stood perfectly still. I hope I do not have to fight him. I may not be able to hold out for very long if I have to. I shall act like I have strength, she resolved.

As the man drew closer, his horse smelled her, whinnied and sidestepped. Instantly, his master became alert. Silly man, you should have been alert the whole time instead of depending on your horse.

“Who’s there?” He questioned in her general direction.

Emerald stepped forward. “I am.” He stiffened.

“Who are you?” The man asked.

“I am a traveler.” Emerald stated quietly.

“Where are you going?”

“To a destination.”

He rolled his eyes. “I figured that. WHAT destination?”

“One that is no concern to you.” Emerald said abruptly.

“Why are you traveling by yourself? Don’t you know it’s dangerous for a woman to travel alone?”

“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” So he hasn’t seen my dagger and swords yet.

“What if you came upon a man that meant you harm?” He immediately pulled his dagger and lunged at her. He meant to make a point, and had no intention of hurting her.

Emerald met his lunge with her drawn dagger and smirked.

“I’m not so unprepared as you think.” Emerald twirled away from him and took a fighting stance with her feet apart and her knees slightly bent. He paused for a few seconds as if to assess his opponent. She surprised him by lunging at his midsection. He jumped to the side, tripped over a root and fell backwards. He kept his momentum going by rolling over his neck and shoulders and back up on his feet. He stepped forward and swiped at her skirt. She fell to the ground in a desperate attempt to get away, and rolled towards him to cut him just enough to draw blood. Emerald succeeded and a thin line of blood trickled down his leg. She had never drawn blood before, but she felt that she had no choice.

“All right, truce.” He said. Emerald nodded her head and bent to wiped her blade clean. He was sweating profusely at this point even though the morning was cool.

“What’s your name?” He asked, panting slightly. Emerald stepped out of the shadows and looked directly into his eyes without squinting. He inhaled quickly.

“So it’s true!” He muttered.

“Of course it’s true. Did you think I was a myth?” Emerald asked.

“Sort of. It seems rather impossible don’t you think? A woman that can out fight, outrun, and pretty much out do any man is too good to be true.”

“And yet, here I am! Most of what you have heard is probably fable, but there is much truth to it.”

“How much?” He looked skeptically at her.

“What have you been told?”

“That you can turn invisible, that you can run faster then any horse, and that you can control people’s minds.” He gave her a look that dared her to deny it.

Emerald laughed. He stood there shocked.

“I cannot become invisible, but I am very good at hiding. My horse, Thor, is one of the fastest warhorses ever bred.”

“But what about controlling people’s minds?”

“What do you think?” Emerald raised her eyebrow. He turned and paced a few times. “I guess it is a little far fetched.” Emerald smiled. “Since you know who I am, perhaps you will tell me who you are?”

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

An interesting tale...because there is no beginning or ending, it's difficult to judge the story progression, but from what you have posted, I find that I am interested. Your writing style is nice; I'm wondering, is the audience you are going for "young adult" or more of a mainstream novel? I only ask because you write in a way that seems accessible to the younger crowd. I'd love to see more.

[EmilyEmingsworth]

Thank you! I did not start at the beginning of my story, but it is close. My goal is to write something adults will enjoy, but younger people can also enjoy and understand. I love to read fantasy, and to write it because then my only limitation is my imagination.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I agree. I get the sense that this has the feel of a "young adult" piece that adults will enjoy, sort of the way that I enjoyed Harry Potter. Even adults like to be transported to different places...I love fantasy as well.