Happier days

There use to be happier days

filled with sunlight and love and laughter

When i would dread the moments i had to spend asleep

And savor the ones i spent awake

There use to be days when i would smile for the sake of smiling

Laugh for the sake of laughing

And do everything for no ones sake but my own

Everything has changed now

Instead i spend the moments 

Counting down until i can return to the safety of my bed

Until i can let my muscles relax and stop forcing a smile

For everyone around me

So they don't try and ask me 

Whats wrong

I am so caught up

In having to pretend to be happy

I can't tell the difference anymore

As to if it's real or not

Am i smiling?

Or have i trained myself to smile continuously

Because i am sick of the questions

I have gotten far too good at lying

Far too good at hiding

And far too good at being something else

But i know

When it's dark

And i am alone

Nothing has changed

There is no lies

And there is no smiles

There is no reason to lie to myself

I know i have a life ahead of me

And people i love behind me

But all i can see is red

All i feel is red

All i can smell is the red

And i am not sure how much longer i can take it

because all our lives 

We have been taught

That red means stop. 

Reviews

[therisa]

Duckey, I wish I could say, life gets better, with time, but I can't lie to you. For I'm still trying to work this out myself. Really like your usage of red, instead of, the traditional black, most people use. Something, I wouldn't have thought of using. Just live life, one moment, at a time.

[Duckey]

Thank you very much! The usage of red i kind of figured was a little more uncommon yes, i guess representing blood, rather than the darkness that depression is usually associated with.

[ThackeryBinx]

Wow, Amazing, you share the secret thoughts and feelings that you refuse to share with the ones around you. Thanks. very well written, it flows smoothly and gives a clear image of what your talking about. The end is cleverly put as well.

[Duckey]

Oh thankyou so much! You are very kind