self-portrait

rough work

Your mind painted a picture of me once

as I lay, body and mind at rest.

It seems to me today

that there are so many facets of me

that can't be captured

by even the most skillful artist.

I am practised at cunning camoflauge.

I cloak and cover and conceal

when the world wanders too close.

 

But you still see me.

You uncover my disguise

pull away my veil.

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

ohh that was very nice Emily dear..i think it goes way beyond what the words do tell
i think every one has a special halo that goes around with him,but no one will see
maybe only a few though will see that,and discover what really lies deep in there
i just loved it
lovely write

[Dane Osborne]

The beginning was mind blowingly good. To me, it suggested how subjective the self is and the polarity between what is percieved and what is known. But i think the last stanza could be worked on a little bit more. IF you lose yourself in this then you might find your way out with something of great value.

[Jeremy Baker]

I like the way you distinguish between the perceived and the real, especially when we think we 'know' somebody. Thank you for sharing this!

[Rossen]

The softest light and most sensual shadow
call you to a sitting of love...

he sees the line running through

you are like the deep underground stream,
in the magical light trailing a summer's storm

your line connects with the tip of his brush
from his eyes you have nothing to hide
he paints glimmering reflections of secret
curves

his gallery of humble glory... his true love


Rossen

[Rossen]

The softest light and most sensual shadow
call you to a sitting of love...

He sees the line running through ~

You are like the deep underground stream,
in the magical light trailing a summer's storm

Your line connects with the tip of his brush
from his eyes you have nothing to hide
He paints glimmering reflections of secret
curves

His gallery of humble glory... his true love



Rossen

[ravincause]

Nice, it is our old friends who see us, and they know us right away..

[OT]

oh you're good!! the facets of a person - how could any one artist capture all - you'd need many to cover in the most basic of faces - "when the world wanders too close" - you have this inherent philosophical nature to your writes which I love - the world can become too real at times! nice!

[zig]

i love the use of sound in this emily, that hard c moves very smoothly though this poem. but i have to agree with the review below. i think the second stanza needs more work. perhaps you could touch on facets of yourself that even you are yet to discover. maybe, maybe not. otherwise, very well done.

zig

[W.k.kortas]

I think there's room for growth in the last stanza, but there's certainly nothing wrong with it as it stands. I love the repetition of "cunning", "camoflauge" "claok" et al. Tight, spare in the good sense, extremely well executed.

[Tommy]

Loving eyes are shown the tender Peccadilloes of the heart, and they do so because they are forgiving, and love unconditionally...

Great Write Emily!
RLG,
Tommy

(I wish I could write like you)

[Wondering Mind]

I'm beginning to envy this wizard.
The picture You paint here is such a pleasant tease.