strength

He is patient as an oak.

Buries his foreign gods

among enduring roots.

Creates a covenant

from somewhere

 between

Adam’s rib

and a serpent’s

whisper.

He loves long, endures

the fiercest storm.

Delights in the music

of the Universe.

Drinks up sweet rain

and crushes me

with the heel of his boot.

Reviews

[TamiViolet]

Oh, my my..... this one is so very powerful, full of brilliant symbols and metaphors.... Then, at the end you use the term 'sweet rain'....beautiful contrast as the character is both strong yet gentle...

'He loves long, endures /The fiercest storm/Delighting in the music/Of the Universe./Drinking up sweet rain.'

Words to remember...indeed...

[zig]

i like this too, (this latest batch is quite impressive) its delicate, and indeed patient. nicely done.

zig

[An Ordinary Woman]

quiet strength is the best, you captured it on paper

[Tommy]

Now this is a favorite! I love the imagery and flow. Really awesome, I can't pluck one line as my favorite, because they all work as one. Powerful!

Great Write!
RLG,
Tommy

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I've walked the road to Jacob's stairs...it was a long time ago. But I'm certain the angels are still there ascending and descending from the throne of heaven.

[Alicante lullaby]

i love this one..it has a very strong feel to it.

[Emily B]

Jacob buried foreign gods at Shechem and created the first covenant.

[Sel Whiteley]

Wow, love the structure of this seems both look an oak and something being drunk. You have a great way of mixing contrasting and unusual things. The "feircest storm" adds intensity, particularly when contrasted with "somewhere between". Masterful writing.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Amazingly beautiful Emily