my last poem

aiming and failing again

if these

were my last words

to you

 

I might remind you

to be honest

 

in the way

I never could be.

 

I might say

 

that your voice

is the most important thing

 

always remember

to care for it.

 

You may wonder

 

how

 

you will live without me

 

but you will find me again

when the wind

brushes your cheek dry--

 

when the night

wraps you in gentle arms

and lays you down.

 

I cannot be all I want

just now

 

But one day . . .

 

I will be more.

Author's Note

if I were to be eaten by a tiger or give up writing for good these would not be the words I would leave behind, my legacy's a little lumpy and this is not useful at all

Reviews

[TAO]

Not useful? Makosica is right; who among us really finds our work useful? And yet, you are greater than most. I can only second what Makosica has already said. When I read this, it reminds me of the piece you did for "The Poet's Voice", hearing you read it aloud. Very well done, Emily Burns. We stand in awe.

[Rossen]

touched me as song
whispered to me in little waves
held me for moments
dried my tears
humbled me deeply
pleased me with poetry


Rossen

[vydenmyria]

"I cannot be all I want

just now



But one day . . .



I will be more."

i use to say this all the time, and I think i've done nothing but grow further away... pushing away bits and pieces of who i wanted to be or thought i would be.... the real world can envelop your soul if you're not careful..

enjoyed reading this, and being reminded of similar thoughts

and i always appreciate you reading the few things i put out every blue moon, don't really have much of an audience, but it seems like i'm writing more for myself than anything....

[cartera]

Heartfelt poetry that delivers us into the soul of the writer, and one that gives us all food for thought. Nice and terse versemaking.
ATB
Alex.

[theunionisloud]

This is beautiful and prompts much reflection. I still wonder whether the last line is more about hope for you, or hope for the one who can't live without you. Maybe this was your aim... I guess I'll never know. Nice piece.

[Nothing Personal]

Something I contemplate time n again and find answers which make me dread and shiver and hide in a closet in the bathroom while I hear hot water in the bathtub fill up up and up..

[OT]

far from lumpy and useless! very sweet sentiments to leave, and a sense of hope as we will once again embrace our loved ones when "the night wraps you in gentle arms and lays you down" - what a wonderful description!!

[J.M]

I'd hardly call your writing lumpy - & this is not something i'd be ashamed to leave behind if i was eaten by a tiger. 'But one day . . .
I will be more.' Stunning write - good job!

[Jeff]

Insofar as "last words", I hope that much like musicians put on their records, that these fall somewhere towards the beginning of the album of your creative works. That being said, as I was reading this, the imagery that I received from your amazing writing was that of a matriarch (sp?) imparting these words to her loved ones on her death bed. The spacing taking place in lieu of her breaths. The last three lines of this profound piece were the silver lining of the melancholy mood. It reminded me of when my grandmother passed earlier this year; it's the type of thing she would have said, except with not as much eloquence. I've had to read this probably a dozen or so times before I could finally review it, and even still I do not see how this would be helpful or constructive to you at all. I wouldn't change a word or a space of this. It is perfect. Thank you for sharing this with us.

[Poet7]

I get it.

[bluessadmood]

these could never be your last words dear..
for once you are addicted on telling these delicacies ,you will never stop
never think you could live without me,on rainy windy days
when feeling sad ,and very happy too.i ve taught you well
just think of me and i will be right over.. with you
i ve had you once and would never leave you..now
or ever,long as you need me ..if ever you called my name
just know i will be there..like forever
lovely write..