to melt

Gazing at the frozen lake today,

noticing

one lonely, rushing stream

when the rest of the water was solid

unmoving--

 

it occurred to me

that no matter how warm the sun

 

the thaw can only happen

 

a little at a time.

Author's Note

it's a little thought, maybe it will grow

Reviews

[Collect-Eye]

it's a lot like the mind too..I've found in life and even in doing mind altering plant substances..you can only be shown so much at a time..whether it's subconscious visions or profound ideas..there's layers to the mind..there's reasons people go insane when they take in or give out too much at once..consciousness is a natural flow. Take it from me, I'm borderline manic-depressive.
But anyway, this imagery has the proper pace and poise and grace and flow to make your thoughts and the readers' come alive and converge at just the right spot..

[Emily B]

god I miss you

[Donald Meikle]

Let's hope

[Clyde Grauke]

Very nice poem and an interesting metaphor to contemplate. Water moving invariably to the ocean is a favorite metaphor of mine related to spiritual growth and returning to the source, so I read into this an interesting relationship between those who have become less rigid and are making their way to the ocean vs those who have yet to thaw out their rigidity.

[celyn]

A little, beautiful thought. Great last line.

[Alicante lullaby]

in soless words..such a universal message...witty..but every thing does thaw in the end:)

[Doctor JKC]

We would be wise to watch natural
occurrences and relate them to
our inner state as you have implied.

Much love to you and your family,
Jack

[Kaden Sylvers]

this is good, it definitely has potential to be much longer though. I love the theme of a frozen lake thawing but taking time to thaw, I think that is something you can expand upon, describe it more, i.e. what it feels like smells like tastes like what sounds are there et cetera....i.e. encorporate all the senses
I really like how you use "noting the" and "it occurred to me", this gives it a tone of being a casual reflection of the mind, which is really beautiful

[theludus]

I think this is changed somewhat from when I visited here last...
I think you have something here except that with these last four lines the idea is perhaps more grand than the notion, these last 4 lines are problematic. cut them and let the title do the bulk of the work? slow thaw?

You have to give the reader a little bit of leg work in that the metaphors should be and are applicable to life, therefore I think you can afford to say a lot and be applicable to a host more circumstances if you say a very little.

Gazing at the frozen lake today,

knotting up at the rushing stream

when -- all of the rested water, frozen solid.

now, punctuation and stylistic blunders aside,
doesn't that tell a story of emotional turmoil and transitional states in a very short space, and doesn't it achieve that in a way that is, without the need for it to 'occur'

food for thought.


(thank you for your time on my page, emily)

[Poetic Beauty]

It doesn't matter how short the poem or how little the words. If it is beautiful and conveys your message that is all the matter

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Observation and reflection are wonderful things. I often have thought that nature holds many answers for us if we will only watch and listen.

[mysticgmekeepr]

small thoughts are mighty thoughts.