scribbles

another loose one

I thought of you today.

I took all the things I wanted you to know
scribbled them on a card
and tied them to the tail of a red balloon.

Hopeful--let it loose to the wind--
knowing you will not get the words
in my time -
or your time.

And if the worn and weathered
ink has faded
beyond what you can read--
hold it close.
You will know
my heart -  without the scrawl.

In the meantime, be well.

I love you.

 

Reviews

[Zatoichi]

This is a beautiful poem, a favorite.
I like the way you structured it but have one minor suggestion.

I think if you put a line break after the first line, and break before the last line, the architecture of the poem would complement the soft drama of your soulful words even more. This would also provoke a peripheral reading thus(ly?):


I thought of you today.

(body
of
poem)

I love you.


do you see how the eye would naturally play with that?

Your best poems are so heartfelt, and your layout of the words so creative that I hesitate to say anything. Then I think "but isn't that what we're here for?" Therefore, my humble opinion, fwiw. This poem is beautifully written; you have a gift for sentiment- sweet yet never cloying.

[W.k.kortas]

It is heartfelt without being sloppy, straightforward without being obvious or seeking to sledgehammer us with some message. It isn't showy, and there is nothing wrong at all with simplicity.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

That was incredible. I am without words. That has got to be one of my top two or three favorites of your works. You've really and truly outdone yourself here. I wouldn't touch a word of it.

[Jasmine]

wow...great flow and intriguing subject matter...very good..love it. keep it up :)

[Simone]

This is a truely wonderful read. It is simple yet full of unspoken emotion. It reminds me of a story that i read a while back.
There is an air of solitude yet at the same time, companionship.
Well written and i look forward to seeing more of your work. ^_^