scribbles

another loose one

I thought of you today.

I took all the things I wanted you to know
scribbled them on a card
and tied them to the tail of a red balloon.

Hopeful--let it loose to the wind--
knowing you will not get the words
in my time -
or your time.

And if the worn and weathered
ink has faded
beyond what you can read--
hold it close.
You will know
my heart -  without the scrawl.

In the meantime, be well.

I love you.

 

Reviews

[Zatoichi]

This is a beautiful poem, a favorite.
I like the way you structured it but have one minor suggestion.

I think if you put a line break after the first line, and break before the last line, the architecture of the poem would complement the soft drama of your soulful words even more. This would also provoke a peripheral reading thus(ly?):


I thought of you today.

(body
of
poem)

I love you.


do you see how the eye would naturally play with that?

Your best poems are so heartfelt, and your layout of the words so creative that I hesitate to say anything. Then I think "but isn't that what we're here for?" Therefore, my humble opinion, fwiw. This poem is beautifully written; you have a gift for sentiment- sweet yet never cloying.

[WishfulWriting]

This brought tears to my eyes... so few words.. and said so very much....

[Emily B]

thank you for letting me know

[Tree]

Well constructed, has a natural flow and rhythm. And you use the dash to great effect here, a lost art. A loving piece, Emily.

[michael.c.m]

from long ago, I remember words like these, chosen with due care and meaning. This, written in '09, is as timeless now as it was then, as words such as these always will. Nice, Emily.

[Wakeofahero]

This flowed very nicely. I felt like the entire poem was even all the way through. I enjoyed this read alot, well done!

[Robert Haigh]

I see you have taken the advice of the last reviewer...it is a moot point whether this actually improves the structure or not. No matter, this is a fine poem, and the final decision of its structure is in your hands. The poetic imagery is easily understood and it suits the theme very well. A fine poem indeed.

[kdpgrahi]

I love the poem. The emotion, the feeling exulted. Even I like the structure you shaped.

[nowhere]

its up to you , they may never know. if you place your trust in the wind. but perhaps thats where it should be.

[The Analog Kid]

this is so hopeful and one of your gems...the your brevity works perfect here...I could go on, but sometimes what is understood need not be discussed:)

[Larry Dyson]

very moving prose...thoe who know your heart know the scribbles...so true..time is ne'er a limit.

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

Faded words of love sometimes can't be read...only felt. Beautiful, loving poetry.