when our words run

old words

 

I remember you

your whispered half-questions

resembling the thoughts I almost had

on another cloudy day.

Your honest words filled me,

tempted me into flights of

unexplored consciousness

and step by step I ventured

farther from my own locked doors.

I wandered out alone

into bright, dead-of-day streets

full of my own possibilities

seized by my own fallibilities.

Some days I will meet the gaze

of the demons that haunt this world

but on others

when my self-fed fears are too much

I may need you to walk beside me.

Take my hand.

Your words are my strength.

Your strength is my hope.

My hope is your redemption.

We will save one another.

Reviews

[jcarlson33]

I think there is some striking symbolism in the "dead-of-day" line. Overall, the rhythm is incredibly immersive while still being broken up by the lines. "And step by step I ventured
farther from my own locked doors."
Something about that line really gives a nice brisk rhythm. Part of this poem seems like a biting angst within the speaker competing with the outer source of strength from a loved one. Well done.

[Emily B]

Thank you!

[Crowley]

Could take this one a few different ways, but as for companionship, it makes us strong it makes a whole. We don't ever want to lose our identity and ability to be by ourselves, but that touch, that presence, the ability to share, second to none. Great writing.

[abhas]

wow... togetherness brings such joy and hope... the hope of persistence... the ray of sunshine in a gloomy day... wonderful words... very moving... talking about the fear, then the strength,hope and redemption...you have such powerful words...
the last stanza was just great... simply exquisite... great write... :)

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I adore the ending Emily but the entirety is lovely. My old pal Paul Squires said, "Love is the only redemption" And St. Paul said, "These three things abide, faith, hope and love...but the greatest is love" So there you have it from the two Pauls. But I seriously believe we need all three. If we can just "help" each other from falling in the ditch along life's road it might make the journey easier...regardless of what lies at our destination...is what I'm thinking. This is a great write!

[TL Boehm]

It has been such a joy and so humbling to see you come into your own as a formidable writer over the past few years. I'm just sayin'

[Narnie]

I love the pivot created by the strong rhyme in 'ilities' in the middle. It's like a question mark before the resolution spirals to the end.

[Linear]

We all need someone to lean on, this is a truely beautiful poem, superbly written, it's just gorgeous

[Hedra Helix]

I love this whole thing, its fresh and moves in exciting ways!

this is my favorite tho, for the quirk and the solid finish.

"seized by my own fallibilities.
Some days I will meet the gaze
of the demons that haunt this world
but on others
when my self-fed fears are too much
I may need you to walk beside me."

dope dope dope!

[A.A.Romanczuk]

Faltering..fragile..strong..human...Hopeful

[Bette]

very good inspirational write here.

[paul]

half questions and almost thoughts... i never knew... amazing new found wonders.
unexplored consiousness is what your poems do to me !
and may they inspire me to venture...
self-fed fears : the only kind i know.
and love : the only hope.