siren song

another muse

You sing siren songs

just like I do.

They mesmerize me.

Even knowing the danger

I still inch closer.

I can't help

feeling a little weak

noticing

the curve of your lips

the smile in your eyes

your sweet scent.

I almost forget to breathe

I am so intent

on the song you sing

and I wonder

if I could ever

be so lucky.

Author's Note

I've been looking at a photo of a rose all week, didn't realize its influence had found its way here

Reviews

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

and i wonder if i could ever be this lucky.. wow , Emily this is a very good write.
it seems as if someone is playing with fire.. i like the title and the way it flows
seems as if it was effortless for you to pen this , as if it just flowed out of you .. these are my favorite lines:


I almost forget to breathe

I am so intent

on the song you sing

A beautiful poem , you are one of my favorites on this site

Chloe

[Eliza Pleasant]

I love this piece. I mean, it's original and beautiful. I find it amazing that you found this inspiration in a rose.

[R.R.Louderback]

The initial review I wrote was very negative. I erased it after reading the other reviewers' comments. I feel like I missed out on something.

I think this would have been much stronger if every pair of lines hand been run together onto a single line. The poem read choppily to me.

Apart from the above I will refrain from further critique. Indisputably the imagery is good and the many beautiful phrases portrayed feeling excellently.

[Naomi Montana Walsh]

Enchanting..I like that you express the feel of danger that there is in being mesmorized by anything.. and that pull that it can have that surpasses all fear..

[mick weller]

the Siren can take many forms... drawing in the unwary

[Phibby Venable]

it has the touch of the forbidden and yet a soft romantic feel.
very beautiful.

[Stacey Watts]

This is such a beautiful piece. Very well written and expressive. Nicely done.

[Sean Allen]

The beauty of a rose is that its petals, unlike many other flowers, seem to go on forever.
A lovely poem of love my friend.

Congratulations on the Alphabet book, I took a look at the web page where it is for sale.

[Doctor JKC]

Of all flowers,the rose, has the greatest effect on us.
How is this so?

Lovely poem,
Jack

[bluessadmood]

Oh Emily this was so sweet,is it really a rose ha ha,I never thought that..
To sing just like I do,and I feel mesmerized,knowing the danger still I inch closer
Feeling weak as I feel the curve of those lips,the smile in these eyes..the scent
Almost forgot how to breathe,feel so intent as you sing and wonder if I ever feel so lucky to...
this is a great write,one of your most beautiful writing
lovely write..

[Ephialtes Jones]

Drew me in deep and held me tightly. The intense language and intriguing tone work well together. And the siren song metaphor gives is a classical 'umph!' I like it.