the storm

I wonder if I have invited the storm--
     Provoked passion--

Traces of sweat in swelling heat
     glisten

and I taunt dark clouds

          singing siren songs.
     The curves of my voice 

thrill lonely spaces.

 

Flashes of light crease the sky --
     similar bursts echo
from your eyes.

 

Reaching around I tremble

as the heavens
     rumble loudly back.

 

I will meet you there

     inside the tempest.

Let it rain.

Author's Note

not nearly done

Reviews

[Charles]

I suspect we all have storms within us or raging on the outside, and we all write about them. I just finished a poem today that I call: The Storm. What a coinience to find the same name here. Today's Storm is a natural one (as are several other 'storms' I've written about) and eventually will make it into my Nature Files. The inner storms are haeder to describe and when yours here is finished (you say it's not nearly done) will do a good job of getting under the skin. :-)

[Benjamin L. Weekly]

Just as a storm will develop when warm winds clash with cold winds, so will the lover's heart rage when it has been so cold but is suddenly warmed, creating a storm of epic proportions out of what was a lonely, empty space.

What begins is a maelstrom, what remains is warmth, steady and glowing. This is the picture of the storm. Many thanks for the images, and good with the writing.

[Jonhoi Vaughn]

Singing siren songs :-)

[Anthony M Smith Jr]

I really enjoyed your words and to think this is not finished will bring me back to see this to its end. Flawless!
TT-TTO-NI-K
Elk

[Dianah]

Like the way you relate the storm to your emotions. Well written.

[An Ordinary Woman]

Girl, this is fantastic, awesome and honestly left my not really knowing what to say. Every line is beautiful in every way. I can reach out and touch the longing.

[Jibey]

It is as though the poet invites the intense feeling symbolised by the storm... wanting to be part of the elemental passion that plays out its drama in the realm of the sky... Here poet and lover join together in the raging energy of their union. Your writing catches the intensity of the emotional engagement.

[Zarathustra]

Not done?!?
Please continue!!

[Doctor JKC]

"The storm is in our minds.
We will weather the gale
together."

Gorgeous words of passion coupled with wisdom.

Love it!
Jack

[Creepy Swine Guy]

"I wonder if I have invited the storm.
Provoked passion."

I see that you draw a distinction between "the storm" and "passion". So though the storm might derive from some passion, I read it to not be passion itself.

"Traces of sweat in swelling heat
glisten.
Flashes of light crease the sky
and I recognize similar bursts
in your eyes."

You illuminate the sweat with LIGHTNING ... a most ominous of nature's forces ... perhaps a most ominous of God's warnings.

"I taunt dark clouds
singing siren songs."

Ahhh ... you tempt fate and as I read below, I see how.

"The curves of my voice
thrill lonely spaces."

The metaphors of "curves" and "lonely spaces" is very sensual

"I will meet you there
inside the tempest.
And reaching around
I tremble as the heavens
rumble loudly back.
The storm is in our minds.
I will weather the gale
with you."

And here in the end, you finally reference the other person whom we knew was there but had not yet seen. You've done wonderful work here and I struggle to see why it's "Not done" unless perhaps, you just have more.

[*** Hey Jude***]

But more than a great start! I have always enjoyed reading your writing. You have a gift. With words that flow from line to line, each enticing the next to be read! Very nice piece ~ Jude :-) xo