the storm

I wonder if I have invited the storm--
     Provoked passion--

Traces of sweat in swelling heat
     glisten

and I taunt dark clouds

          singing siren songs.
     The curves of my voice 

thrill lonely spaces.

 

Flashes of light crease the sky --
     similar bursts echo
from your eyes.

 

Reaching around I tremble

as the heavens
     rumble loudly back.

 

I will meet you there

     inside the tempest.

Let it rain.

Author's Note

not nearly done

Reviews

[Charles]

I suspect we all have storms within us or raging on the outside, and we all write about them. I just finished a poem today that I call: The Storm. What a coinience to find the same name here. Today's Storm is a natural one (as are several other 'storms' I've written about) and eventually will make it into my Nature Files. The inner storms are haeder to describe and when yours here is finished (you say it's not nearly done) will do a good job of getting under the skin. :-)

[Leslie Philibert]

a writer I check regularly. This is done, in my humble opinion it is just right, even the change of font,this explodes with vivid images, a melting of the internal and external...excellent !

[Allan W]

Evocative imagery, great use of language. I shall have to keep an eye open for the completed version! Excellent writing.

[Neville]

Maybe not done but still, its very good in my book..... N

[Emily B]

i think it got lost, filed away in a dusty corner of the cafe, try to air the old stuff out once in a while and see if maybe it will grow

[Neville]

I plan on doing the self same thing, N

[Jibey]

The curves of your voice as you reach around stir the tempest as it builds before bursting

[PianoandPage]

this may not be "nearly done" but i think you write with power and with excellent use of imagery.

i especially liked,

"The curves of my voice
thrill lonely spaces."

[Krazy On The Outside]

I love this poem.! =)

[Jane Prinsep]

"Not nearly done"....does this mean you are not finished with this?

I love it, love it, LOVE IT. It is so atmospheric, moody, beautiful and with a wonderful sense of anticipation as the power of the storm increases....."we will weather the gale together". I also love the imagery, comparing the flashes of light to their eyes, very clever indeed.

I look forward to enjoying some more of your writing.

Jane

[Lilith des Cavernes]

Not nearly done? Wow... what's it going to be like when it is? LOL It's gorgeous. It's powerful, bold and breathtaking. I love it.

[alyssa]

i love the way you made a picture in the readers head. It was an amazing write!! love it!!
alyssa