he said, "
Putting aside my bloated ego.
Emily, your beautifully crafted poem
definitely keeps the spirit of
the daily write alive!
Now, you have me itching
to scratch on paper.
Please say hello to Sarah and Anna
for me.
Norman"
My Review
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This is an awesome write Emily. I'm so glad you carry your poetic pen wherever you go. And kudos for sharing your love of the written word with your babies. But I knew you would. :)
Emily, I think that since it's taken from such a personal and moving experience then there's really not much to be gained from suggesting a tweak of two here, those little details would most likely alter this too much. Besides which, I liked it. You mapped out the structure nicely and it's one of those writes where the reader just knows they missed out on something special. There's a nice achievement in that.
Wow, I can't believe my luck. I've found a poem of yours I haven't read that is always gold dust. This is powerful, such wonder, emotion, flow and your characterisation of the man and child so compelling. Incredible.
This was such a moving poem, hearing another read his work outloud always brings chills and you were able to write with such description and art that it felt as if I were there myself. A wonderful write.
Yes, I know this is technically interesting - a poem within a poem - mini Midsummer Night's Dream etc., but I'll put all that aside and cut to the quick. What came to me was the stature of the two poets. The performer, who held the listeners in the palm of his hand, the power of his (reported) description as the tree grew and the birds flew. The magnetism of his words, drawing people in and the power of his declamatory "MOVE!!!", with its shock effect. The perch/lap metaphor. Then the wonderful humility of the man's apology. Then the stature of our own poet, Emily who wove it all so subtly ans seamlessly together to culminate in the gently suggested moral - little girls and the word - all of us in fact. Ah the word - the living word. Beautiful, meaningful and sensitive poem. Yes!
Your poem is alive with your beautiful use of words. It was easy to "see" the people in the room leaning forward, breathless, listening to Norman Jordan. I love the assumption that maybe Anna could learn the power of words from the experience. Well done, Emily. And such a note from Norman Jordan!
to the Lost Boys
I am no Wendy;
but my voice brings you back to me.
And you sit around my feet,
anxious for a story
or a kiss.
Listening to my words
spinning adventures,
like so much g.. more..